


RJ

by Berserker88



Category: Zootopia (2016)
Genre: Alternate Reality Simulator, Bear Bashing, Button Mashing, Car Chases, Carjacking, Collaboration, Crazy like a fox, Drug Busts, Food Fights, Gen, Leaps of Faith, Lots of crazy shit dealing with unexpected ramifications of AR, Organized Crime, Party Crashing, Questionable Choices, Scenic Tours, Skillful Penmanship, Soul-Searching
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-28
Updated: 2018-10-28
Packaged: 2019-08-08 12:25:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 38,122
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16429370
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Berserker88/pseuds/Berserker88
Summary: Part of the "What If" collaboration project. After a routine drug bust raises some concerning questions for Nick, he decides it would be a good idea to use PIXAR to create a virtual scenario in which he never met Judy and continued down his descent into darkness. Judy thinks it's a bad idea. They're both wrong. It's an utterly horrible idea.





	1. Like Father, Like Pun

**RJ**

**Chapter I: Like Father, Like Pun**

**Written by Berserker88**

**Edited by Mind Jack & DrummerMax64**

**Cover art by SaittaMicus**

****

* * *

Sahara Square wasn't a fun place on the best of days. It was hot, dusty, noisy, and home to one of Zootopia's largest criminal rings. It was also home to its largest casino and naturalist club, but those were unfortunately not where all the action was happening today. It was under the awning of a towering parking garage that a foursome of mammals was up to no good.

Unsurprisingly, they were a shady bunch, and not just because they were protected from the sun. The group consisted of a camel wearing gold chains around his crooked neck, a coyote with especially bleached fur, a Giraffrican wild dog who seemed to have perpetually crossed arms, and an armadillo smoking a cigar of... _something._ All of them were dressed in ratty clothing, and in the armadillo's case, overpriced clothing as well. "Alright, boys," the armored mammal said, "I've got something amazing to show all of ya."

The armadillo's name was Kevin "Kev" Larson and he was one of the lesser-known crime bosses in the district. This meant he was a target of both the ZPD  _and_  the bigger fish that didn't want him swimming in their pond, but his cocky demeanor showed that the thought clearly didn't bother him. Even when he had to rely on cheap, hired paws like this mangy group just to get anything done. It was a pretty impressive level of self-delusion actually. "Is it amazing enough to pay my crippling debts?" asked the coyote, raising a paw weakly.

"And then some, Carlos. Check it out." Larson pulled a briefcase more expensive than he could legally afford in front of them and popped it open. It was filled to the brim with small bluish spheres, separated by circular pockets.

The camel's eyes widened and he backed away fearfully. "Are those Night Howlers?!"

Larson laughed at his reaction, joined hesitantly by his other two underlings. "Relax, Stumps. These ones aren't gonna hurtcha'. See, I know a guy who knows a guy who knows a naturalist that lent him some of these. I don't know much about 'em, except that they're some new Night Howler derivative that's supposed to give you the feeling of being savage without actually going there. Think they're called 'Primal Nightmare' or something..."

"That sounds dumb," the wild dog said, still crossing his arms.

"Of course it's dumb!" He kicked the briefcase shut. "But that doesn't matter because  _we're_ not gonna be the ones using 'em!"

"We're not?" asked Carlos.

"Nope! We're gonna be sellin' all of it off, ASAP. There's loads of preds out there who would buy this crap up, maybe even some prey too, and we're just the sorta folks who are willing ta part with it." Larson smiled confidently through all of this, seeing no flaw whatsoever in his plan.

To be fair, neither did his henchmammals. "Y-Yeah, that sounds good," Stumps stammered, fighting down a lump in his large throat. "Bet we can get a lot of cash out of it."

"Enough to keep my fingers!" Carlos cheered.

"I still think it's dumb," the wild dog said.

Larson fixed his beady eyes on him. "Oh? Do ya now? Perhaps you've got a better plan, Scourge?"

"Yeah, actually." Scourge finally uncrossed his arms and stepped forward. "Maybe we should all find something better to do with our lives. Just leave this case here, go out, find a real job, and become productive members of society."

His proposal was met by dead silence. For all of three seconds before it was replaced by raucous laughter. "Wahahahaha! That's a good one!" Larson cackled.

"You almost had me going there for a second!" Stumps joined in.

"Your fingers wouldn't last a day with that attitude!" Carlos added.

Larson wiped a tear from his eye as he came down. "Heh heh, oh wow. But seriously, let's get moving. These recreational drugs ain't gonna peddle themselves."

Scourge wasn't laughing. "Are you  _sure_  you won't reconsider this?"

And now, neither was Larson. "Yes, I'm sure! Now get off your soapbox and do your damn job!"

He shrugged. "If you insist." He lifted a pair of fingers up to his mouth and blew a sharp whistle.

Like clockwork, a half-dozen clicks sounded from behind parked cars as uniformed mammals popped out and leveled tranq pistols at them. "FREEZE! ZPD!"

Scourge shook his head, clicking his tongue. "By the way, parking garage? Terrible place to conduct illegal business affairs. Way too many blind spots."

Stumps and Carlos were already raising their arms in surrender. Larson gasped, looking frantically back and forth before finally narrowing his eyes back on Scourge. "You sold us out to the cops?!"

"I  _am_ a cop, idiot." Scourge crossed his arms once more, smirking. "Meet the Giraffrican  _Wilde_  dog. A rare species, one of a kind actually, known to prey on stupid criminals. Here it is now, hunting in its natural environment."

"I find that mildly offensive!" a familiar voice shouted from behind one of the cars.

He couldn't see their face, but the two long ears were a dead giveaway. "You can report me to Mammal Resources later, Carrots!"

Larson scowled. "Screw this. If I'm going down, I'm taking ya with me!" With a loud snarl, he hefted the large briefcase right at the imposter. "Scourge" was quick to sidestep it, and good thing too as Larson then drew a knife and charged him. Gasps sounded from all around them, followed by the sounds of several fired shots, all of which bounced harmlessly off of Larson's plated backside.

But Nick Wilde wasn't worried. He hadn't gone through all the trouble of applying this fur dye, growing these extensions, and practicing his scummy criminal accent just to die now. He wasn't the best fighter in the ZPD, but he  _was_ good at at being quick on his feet. He dodged the first stab as Larson came at him from the left. "You know, this is really kinda  _your_ fault when you think about it." Larson pivoted around and stabbed at him again, which he jumped away from. "I mean, you seriously trusted a guy named  _Scourge?_ If I knew it was gonna be  _that_  easy, I would've just called myself 'Bad M. Ammal'." Screaming in rage, Larson charged forward without any attempt at subtly. "And that would be checkmate." Nick turned just slightly away, caught Larson's arm, and flipped the smaller mammal over his shoulder. He didn't get the chance to attack again before he was rushed and taken down by Officers McHorn and Fangmeyer.

Despite this impressive display, Judy had no trouble whatsoever coming up from behind and stomping on his foot. "Always the showoff," she sighed as he hopped around on the other. "You're going to get yourself killed like that someday. You want me to tell the kits that their Daddy's last words were a cheesy one-liner?"

He balanced himself on one leg and rubbed at his foot. "Maybe if the cheesy one-liner is 'I love you'."

She rolled her eyes. "Let's just get you home and wash you off. It's  _weird_ seeing you like this."

"Hey, it's still the same old me on the inside."

"That's what I'm worried about."

They watched as the briefcase containing the strange blue spheres was confiscated while Stumps and Carlos were escorted away in cuffs.

"This isn't so bad. I didn't want to get involved with Night Howlers anyway."

"Hey, cops don't cut off fingers, right?"

Larson was, naturally, a tougher sell. He had curled up into a ball and refused to leave it, making it impossible to cuff him. McHorn shrugged and just picked him up instead. "Hey, there's just one thing I gotta say!" came his muffled voice. "To  _you,_ Wilde!"

"Oh boy, this outta be good." Nick put on a fake smile and titled his ear towards the angry, scaly ball. "Yeeeeeeees?"

"You chose the wrong side, Wilde. That was a serious mistake."

"Yeah, yeah, I've heard it all before. Is this the part where you threaten to haunt me for the rest of my life or something?"

"That's not what I meant." Even though he couldn't see his face, he could practically  _feel_ the smirk plastered on it. "You chose the wrong side of the law. I've heard plenty about you, and your skills. You could have been an amazing criminal, better than me, better than anyone, but ya threw all that potential away for this. It's a pity."

Judy glared. "He's  _already_ better than you. Take him away."

"My pleasure," McHorn grunted, just as disgusted as he carried the ball to their patrol car.

"Can you believe that guy? Trying to disparage our profession like that? Nick?"

"Huh?" It took the fox a second to register her. "Yeah. What a jerkface. Let's get out of here." He turned around and started heading back to their car before she could reply, all the while thinking about what the armadillo had said. He didn't give it any  _serious_ consideration, of course. He was very happy with the life he had now and wouldn't change it for a second. Not the ZPD, not their children, and  _certainly_ not Judy.

Even so, he couldn't help but at least wonder...what  _could_ he have become without all of that?

* * *

The next time PIXAR booted up, it was to a very different Zootopia. One where the adage of "anyone can be anything" meant absolutely nothing, as a certain mammal had come to discover. They had big aspirations once, but this city had chewed them up and spit them out, leaving only a bitter, jaded shell in its place.

And her name was Judy Hopps.

No longer did she wear a police badge with pride. Now she settled for a simple brown trench coat while her multitude of toy badges lay dormant in a box somewhere. No longer was she content to live in a cramped, noisy apartment. Now she was alone, occupying a dingy, three-room office building in Savannah Central. No longer was she even recognizable as the bright-eyed bunny who had once walked into the ZPD with such naive confidence. Now she was Detective Hopps, private investigator, and she did whatever she still could to make the world a better place.

Honestly, it could have been worse. The place wasn't exactly homey, but comfortable enough. She had even experienced some modest success as a PI, closing every case that came to her doorstep. Of course, she rarely got anything more serious than tracking down a runaway kit, but that was okay. At least she knew she could find  _some_ missing mammals

Judy sighed, leaning back in her creaky desk chair. It had been exactly one year since her failure to solve the Missing Mammal Case and her resignation from the ZPD. It was hard not to wonder what could have been had she just been a little more patient, instead of throwing herself at an impossible case in a desperate attempt to prove herself. No experience, no resources, no help, it was a foolish decision any way she looked at it. And yet, she only half-regretted it. In the end, she'd finally gotten a taste of being a real cop, even if only for a short while.

Her phone rang, snapping her out of this depressing train of thought. Putting all four legs of the chair back on the floor, Judy did her best to perk her ears up and smile, for she had a pretty good idea who was calling her. She picked up. "Hey, Mom and Dad! How are you?"

The two rabbits on the other end of MuzzleTime weren't buying it. "Worried sick, of course," Bonnie said. "Why won't you just come home, Judy? That city's getting worse by the day."

She groaned, losing the smile quickly. "Mom, we've talked about this. I need to do whatever I can to help those in need, now more than ever."

"Yeah, but that was before they found all of those savage predators," Stu pointed out. "And they've been cropping up left and right ever since. You still have your fox repellent, right?"

" _Yes,_ Dad." She rolled her eyes, tapping the small canister on her hip. She had no idea how effective it would actually be against a savage, but she thought it better not to bring that up. "That's exactly why this city needs all the help it can get. Mammals are getting too scared to even turn to the ZPD anymore."

"Can't blame 'em either, what with all those giant preds there," Stu muttered.

"What your father  _means_ to say," Bonnie cut in sharply, "is that there's only so much one bunny can do. Something like this is just too much for you to handle alone, even if you  _were_ still a cop."

Judy's eyes narrowed. It was fortunate for everyone involved that a knock sounded on her office door at that very moment. "Greattalkingtoyouasusualbye!" She quickly hung up before they could protest and silenced her phone for good measure. Once again, she straightened herself up, this time in hopes of receiving a new client. "Come in!"

No amount of time could have prepared her for the mammal that came through her door. It was a face she had only seen in person briefly, but one that still haunted her to this day. She wasn't sure she ever wanted to see it again. "C-Chief Bogo?!"

The Zootopian police chief looked as regal and intimidating as she remembered, from recurring nightmares and otherwise. He closed the door behind him and started to approach her desk. "Greetings, Off-Detective Hopps. I-"

"You're not here to shut me down, are you?" Judy was instantly on the defensive. "Because I went through all the proper channels, followed the right procedures, took all the prerequisite classes-"

"I'm not going to shut you down!" Bogo said quickly. "Though I suppose I can't blame you for jumping to that conclusion…"

Judy relaxed, but only a little. "Then why  _are_ you here?" she asked skeptically.

"Same reason most mammals come through these doors, I imagine." He sat himself down in one of the larger chairs she had set up for clients. The irony of being on  _this_ side of the desk now was not lost on her. "I'm here to request your services."

Even with her exceptionally large ears, she wasn't sure she heard that right. "Excuse me?"

Bogo grunted, hating to repeat himself. "You know I'm not one to mince words, Hopps, so I'm just going to cut to the chase. Mayor Bellwether was arrested this morning."

Now she was  _sure_ her ears must be on the fritz. "The  _mayor?!_ For  _what?!"_

"For masterminding the plot to turn predators savage," he said bluntly. "It hasn't hit the news yet, but it won't remain secret for long. Might as well hear it straight from me."

Judy barely heard anything after the first sentence. Dawn Bellwether, the kind sheep who had tried so hard to give her a chance, even when no one else would. Judy hadn't heard much from her since her resignation, which she had assumed was a result of her new responsibilities as mayor. Or she was just disappointed in her for blowing her only chance at success. It seemed the truth was even worse. "How did you find out?"

At least Bogo was just as sour about it. "I'd  _like_ to say it was the hard work and dedication of the ZPD, but I can't. It was an anonymous tip, like the one that led us to that old asylum. Except  _that_ one was likely sent by Bellwether herself, to incite panic once we discovered what happened to our missing mammals. This one sent us to a hidden lab in a subway car, where we found all the evidence we needed to prove that this savage pandemic was chemically manufactured, and who was responsible."

Judy rubbed at her temples, trying her best to take this all in. In less than a minute, two of her biggest preconceptions had just been flipped upside-down. She decided she could worry about that later. "But the case is solved, right? So what do you want  _me_ for?"  _Not like you wanted me to begin with._

He smiled faintly. "Staying focused on the case, even after all that. Impressive."

 _You used to call it insubordination._ "And…?"

His smile vanished. "The fact of the matter is, this savage crisis has been a huge detriment to the ZPD. First, we spend weeks trying to find a bunch of missing mammals, only finding them when we're outright  _told_ where to look. Then, the city starts going crazy over this idea of predators having some kind of 'inherent savagery' and not trusting half of my force to do their jobs. Now  _this_ surfaces and we look like idiots all over again!"

 _Serves you right._ "That's a shame."

Bogo leaned over the desk, staring down at her. "But I still trust my instincts, and my instincts tell me that whoever sent this tip wasn't just some good samaritan. It was far too detailed, too perfect. This guy knew  _everything_ and I need to know why."

She stared right back, unblinking. "But you can't be seen investigating it yourself, or else you'll just make the ZPD look even worse. So you want to use someone expendable in case things go sour. Does that sound about right?"

"...You've changed, Hopps."

"I suppose I have."

Bogo sighed and sat back down. "Look, I know you and I have gotten off on the wrong foot. I didn't use you to your fullest potential back when you were under my command, and that may have been a mistake on my part. But I've seen your records from the academy, along with your success rate as a PI, and I want to give you another chance."

 _So now you care?_ "So now you care?"

"Yes, Hopps. Now I care."

It was the closest thing to an apology she was going to get and they both knew it. Now the only question was how she was going to respond. Truthfully, her immediate thought was to tell Bogo where he could shove this job, but she knew an opportunity when she saw one. That was  _one_  thing about her that hadn't changed, except this time, she was the one with the bargaining power. She leaned forward, sliding one paw under her desk. "Okay. I'll take the job."

"Really?" Bogo seemed surprised, at least that she had accepted so quickly, already standing up to shake on it.

She yanked it away, smirking at him. "Yes.  _If_ you agree to give me another chance in the ZPD should I complete it. As a  _real_ cop, this time."

Bogo glared. "I was going to pay you anyway, you know."

"I know."

He huffed, giving in. "Fine.  _If_ you prove useful on this job, we will discuss your return to the force. You have my word."

"I do indeed." She casually pulled her paw back out from the desk, wiggling a small, carrot-shaped pen for him to see. She pressed a button, playing a recording of Bogo's own agreement back at him.

She smiled pleasantly at the look on his face, not trying particularly hard to hide her smugness.

"You're going to be the death of me, Hopps," he said, regretting this decision already as he reached around his back and placed a case file in front of her. "Here. This is everything we have on my prime suspect."

"You already have a suspect?" One of her ears tilted in a show of confusion. "That was fast."

"Don't think I'm making this too easy for you. Take a look."

Curious, Judy pulled the file closer and opened it. Her eyes widened. She saw in an instant why the ZPD couldn't afford to screw this one up. This was no ordinary suspect, and he certainly wasn't a good samaritan.

He was a crime lord.

According to the file, Mr. Big was no longer the head honcho of Tundratown. He had just "retired" and been replaced by new, younger blood. It wasn't his daughter, Fru Fru, who had always looked strangely familiar to her, so she already didn't buy that story for a second. She also hadn't heard anything about  _this_ on the news either, but that was no surprise. There wasn't much known about the new boss so far, except that his sudden rise to power coincided suspiciously well with Bellwether's arrest. Eliminating the competition perhaps? If so, she wasn't sure if she wanted to thank him or punch him.

It did include a picture though. A slim, immaculately groomed fox in a black suit was snapped from behind as he entered a limousine. She almost assumed it was taken without his knowledge, if not for the fact that he appeared to be shooting a peace sign at the camera. The sight of him unnerved her in a way she couldn't explain. In lieu of a name, this enigmatic figure was referred to only as, "RJ?"

"That's what he calls himself anyway," Bogo confirmed. "Don't know what it stands for, but whatever it is, he seems pretty insistent on it."

She nodded slowly. "Alright then. I just have one more question." She closed the file. "Is this a suicide mission?"

"What?"

"You want to send me in to dig up dirt on a crime lord, one who has all the resources of Mr. Big's empire, who you know almost nothing about  _besides_  that, all by myself with no backup? Either you're  _completely_ insane, or this is a suicide mission." There was once a time when Judy would never talk back to the chief of police like this. That time had long passed.

Bogo leaned back in his seat, unsure how to respond. Finally, he removed his spectacles and looked her in the eye. "Hopps...I know you probably see me as a monster and you have every right to think that. But believe me when I say I do  _not_ want your blood on my hooves. I'm not doing this because I'm just trying to get rid of you again." She snorted in disbelief. "I'm doing this because I think you have the best shot of any of us!"

She raised an eyebrow. "Explain."

"RJ is holding a party tonight at Big's estate. This is the best opportunity we have to sneak in and find out what he's up to. But half of my mammals are too big to go unnoticed, and the other half will get sniffed out before they can even get close. All of Zootopia's biggest criminals are attending;  _someone_ is going to recognize them. Not you though. You're a variable they won't expect."

"Good to know my best merits are being short and lacking presence." Judy smiled again though. "If you had put that any other way, I would've been  _sure_ you were lying to me. Alright, I'll do it. It's against my code to ignore something like this anyway." Bogo breathed a sigh of relief. Judy got some satisfaction out of making him squirm at least. " _If_ you honor my terms."

"Of course. Pull this off, and you'll already be prepared for the ZPD." He stood up, placing a small slip of paper on her desk as he turned around. "That's my private contact number. Call me as soon as you get anything. And Hopps?" Pulling the door part way open, he looked one last time over his shoulder. "Be careful."

And then he was gone. If not for the evidence he left behind, Judy could've passed that whole meeting off as a fever dream. To call it life-changing was a severe understatement. She still wasn't entirely certain of Bogo's motives, but she quickly realized that didn't matter to her. If she wanted to be a real cop, to truly make the world a better place, she needed to help out any way she could. This was finally her chance to make an impact again.

Alright, no time to lose. Now that she had a chance, she needed a plan. Judy sat down, opened the file again, and put the gears in her head to work.

But for some reason, she just couldn't stop staring at that photo.  _Just what kind of mammal_ are  _you, RJ?_

* * *

"Watch out, everyone! There's a fox in the henhouse!" The doors to Mr. Big's office were kicked open with great force. In walked a certain handsome gentlemammal, straightening out his tie and showing off his smile. "Oh wait, it's just me."

"You're seriously gonna break those doors if you keep doing that," said a smaller, fennec fox, also in a suit. "And I thought  _I_ had destructive tendencies."

"Relax, Finn, I'm good for it. Got a lot more than pawpsicle funds to work off of now." He looked around the office, giving a low whistle as he took it all in. "The place could use some redecorating anyway. It's a bit...crowded."

Both foxes finally turned their attention to the giant, chained-up polar bear kneeling in the middle of the room, and the two others standing behind him. "Yeah, should probably do something about that," Finnick agreed.

"Both of you can go jump in a freezing lake," the biggest bear snapped. "I'm not telling you anything."

All eyes turned to RJ as he stepped forward. In his left paw, he held a black fountain pen adorned with a tiny fox head, spinning it idly around in his fingers. It was almost hypnotic, especially since he spent a long time not doing anything else. "I'm hurt, Icebox. I thought we worked out these family issues. The father might be gone, but you still have the red-headed stepchild."

"You will  _never_ replace, Mr. Big," Koslov snarled.

"Nor do I want to." Even on his knees, the bear was taller, yet RJ still managed to look down on him. "This place doesn't need another Mr. Small in charge. And I'm not just calling him that because of his size, but because of his ideals. You see, he never really saw the  _big_ picture, Icebox. While that sheep was out ruining the lives of predators all across the city, he hid here like a coward, just waiting for it all to blow over."

"He was trying to keep us  _safe!"_

"And now he's sorry. Funny that." RJ chuckled at his own joke, leaning in closer. "But don't worry, I made sure to give him  _and_ his daughter a proper burial. I wrapped them both up in a warm, comfortable...skunk-butt rug. Just like  _grandmama."_

Koslov roared, his head lashing forward to bite into him. Even before he was pulled back by the two bears behind him, RJ had already stepped away, stopping to spin the pen again just to add insult to injury. "Well, at least I know  _you're_ not a coward. Shame. You could've been a really great asset if only you were more of a team player, like Raymond and Kevin here."

"Laugh it up, fox, but I know you can't afford to kill me." Despite his situation, Koslov smirked at him. "I know what you want, and I'm the only one who can give it to you."

"At one time, that might've been true." RJ turned around, as if dismissing both his claim and his presence. "But I make my  _own_ rules now. Ice 'em!"

Raymond and Kevin shared an uncertain look. "Uh...sir? Polar bears can survive quite well in sub-zero temperatures," Kevin pointed out.

RJ slapped his forehead. "Ah, sorry, force of habit. What I  _meant_ to say was 'put 'em on ice', so if you could just...you know what, I'll take care of it."

"W-Wait, what are you-?" Koslov didn't even get the chance to finish before RJ clicked the head of his pen, unsheathing a thin blade, then spun around and stabbed it into his neck.

Finnick winced, turning away. "Ugh, warn me when you're gonna do that."

RJ pulled the blade back out, and instantly regretted it. "Aw geez, it's going everywhere!"

"Why did you  _pull it out,_ you idiot?!"

"I wanted my pen back!"

"It's getting all over the carpets!"

"I'll replace those too!"

"Yo, bears! Get him out of here!"

Raymond and Kevin jumped into action, lifting their former head of security onto their shoulders and escorting him out of the office. As soon as they were gone, RJ regained his composure, casually cleaning off his pen with a handkerchief. "That went well."

"Where did you  _get_ that thing anyway?"

"Slapped it together while I was bored. Just to see if I  _could_ really. You like it?"

"It's weird."

"It's effective. But don't worry about that now, we've got plans to discuss."

"Plans for the organization?" Finnick asked, carefully stepping around the puddles.

"Plans for the party." Reaching into his suit coat, RJ took out a piece of folded paper and handed it to the smaller fox. "Do me a favor and delegate these out to the rest of our new family."

"Yeah...sure," Finnick replied, opening it up. "As long as it's less work for myself, Nick."

"RJ."

"Whatever." The fennec frowned as he scanned the list. "Half of these things have nothing to do with the party."

"Maybe, maybe not."

"Seriously, why do we need to install GPS trackers in all of our vehicles? Even for you, that's being really paranoid, Nick."

"RJ."

" _RJ._ It just sounds a bit crazy, is all."

"Crazy like a fox," he shot back, winking. "I don't need you to understand, Finn. Just trust my judgement and, sooner or later, you'll get the  _point."_ He extended the blade of his pen again for emphasis. "...Wow, that kinda sounded like I was threatening you. Sorry, still new to this."

"I can still bite your face off, you know," Finnick said, smiling in spite of it. "Alright, fine. You got us this far, I guess I can trust you, Ni-"

"RJ."

"Okay,  _that's it!"_ He violently crumpled the list between his paws. "I'm not doing a damn thing until you tell me what's up with that name!"

He shrugged. "I wanted an alias. Like Mr. Six Feet Under."

"I get  _that,"_  Finnick growled. "But why  _RJ?"_

RJ paused, tapping the pen against his lip in thought. He wandered slowly over to the nearest window, placing his paw against the surface. "Have you ever heard of Reynard?"

Finnick quirked his head. "The mythical fox? Course' I have."

He smiled wistfully. "Well, a long time ago, back when I was small and emotionally unbalanced, my father used to read me stories about the legendary Reynard. He was said to be a fox of extraordinary caliber. He could outwit anyone, think his way out of any problem, take for himself whatever he wanted. And one night, as I looked up at my father, all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, I said," He put on a high-pitched, childlike falsetto. " _That sounds like_ you _, Daddy!"_

"Adorable. What's your point?"

He didn't even seem to acknowledge him. "When my father heard that, he gave me a very curious response. To this day, I'm not sure if he was just humoring me or if he saw something in me then, but he smiled back and replied," Now he took on a deep, gruff voice. " _Well, if_ I'm  _Reynard, then I guess that makes you Reynard Junior!"_ The tender moment faded quickly as he looked back at him. "I mean, he's dead now, so he kinda lost his stake to claim there, but you get the gist, right?"

Finnick was unimpressed. "You named yourself after a  _childhood memory?"_

"No, Finn." RJ smiled as he strode back across the room and into his desk chair, kicking his feet up on the surface. "I named myself after a  _legend._ And after tonight, that's exactly what I'm going to be. Isn't that right, buddy?"

He wasn't talking to Finnick. RJ had abruptly turned his head to the left and called out to someone outside the room. A muffled scream sounded in response.

"What was that?" Finnick asked, unnerved.

RJ smirked. "I believe he said, 'Let the games begin'."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back, everyone! It's Berserker88 again, here with my second contribution to the What If project. You may remember my last one, "Nick Wilde: Ace Attorney", which was greatly enjoyed by the two people who got the joke and generally confused everyone else. I clearly haven't learned my lesson because this story is loosely based off of my own megafic "Born to Be Wilde", with several in-jokes thereof.
> 
> But it all stems from a general premise that's always intrigued me since first seeing the movie: What if Nick had never met Judy and just fell deeper and deeper into darkness? The result is Reynard Junior: an ambitious new crime lord with the willingness to do horrible things, but who isn't quite used to it yet. In short, I wanted to do something very different from the other What If stories and portray an outright villainous Nick, completely lacking in his attachment to Judy. If you were okay with Prosecutor Hopps, it shouldn't make you too uncomfortable, but if it does, hold on to that feeling because that's kinda what I'm going for. Judy herself isn't quite at that level yet, but definitely more in line with her old conceptual self than the final version we all know and love.
> 
> One last note: this scenario has a bit more backstory than most, to the point that it could have easily been the entire first chapter. Because of that, each chapter will start with a scene from the real world before jumping back into PIXAR. Alright, shutting up now! :)


	2. A Cold Reception

**RJ**

**Chapter II: A Cold Reception**

**Written by Berserker88**

**Edited by Mind Jack & DrummerMax64**

**Cover art by SaittaMicus**

****

* * *

The evening after the Larson case was an awkward affair for everyone.

Nick and Judy had both been given leave to head straight home, in part due to their major bust today, in part due to Nick's "Scourge" disguise making the rest of the precinct too uncomfortable to be around him. It made Judy uncomfortable too, so even the workaholic bunny had no objections to Nick getting back to normal ASAP.

Which was why she was now laying casually on their shared bed, listening to her husband wash off in the shower of the master bathroom. He had decided to leave the door open, supposedly to let the steam out, though that never seemed to be a problem when she  _wasn't_ one room over. She half-expected him to invite her in with him, but then they'd  _both_ end up covered in dye, and this was taking forever as it was. "Seriously, I appreciate the advancement of modern cosmetics, but did it have to be  _this_ hard to get off?"

"I don't know, this kinda feels like karma to me," Judy said, smiling to herself. "You  _did_ seem pretty attached to your disguise back there…"

"I was just getting into character!" he protested. "It's not like I wanted to be that way permanently!"

" _Of course,_ you wouldn't want to…" Judy paused. That last remark sounded a bit too forced for comfort. Most mammals probably wouldn't read anything into it, but she hadn't married the guy without learning how to read him. "Is this about what Larson said before? Are you still on about that?"

"No."  _Yes._

She shook her head in exasperation. "Nick, why are you letting a thug like  _that_ get in your head now? What happened to never letting them see that they get to you?" Not that she wasn't grateful for him opening up more, but there was a time and place for that and on the job was  _not_ the time and place.

"It's...complicated."

"Try me."

The shower abruptly turned off. How long had he been done? She waited patiently as Nick dried himself off and came out into the room, towel wrapped around his waist as he hopped up on the bed next to her. She figured this would be long enough to form a response, but Nick was still struggling. He opened his mouth, then closed it again, opened, closed, opened...closed. "Nick!"

"Okay, okay!" He sighed, reclining back onto the pillow. "It's just that...I wonder sometimes where I could've ended up if I hadn't met you back then. It's something that's been on the back of my mind pretty much ever since, and Larson just dredged it back up again."

"Where you could've ended up?" Judy echoed. "You mean in jail?"

"Possibly." He shrugged. "But that's not what bothers me. What bothers me is that if I  _didn't_ end up in jail, the only other conclusion I can come up with is that I would've just kept spiraling downwards, until I emerged as something much worse than some shady, pawpsicle-selling conmammal."

"Like what?" She was almost afraid to ask. "I mean...you'd still be the same Nick, right? It's not like you'd be capable of something  _that_ bad…"

"I used to work for  _Mr. Big,_ Judy," he said bluntly, noticeably avoiding eye contact. "The mafia isn't exactly known for misdemeanors."

A chill ran down her spine. "But...you got out."

"I was  _thrown_ out. Had I stayed in his good graces, who knows what I might be doing right now? Certainly not working for the ZPD."

She didn't have a response for that.

"You need to understand, I've resented prey for a long,  _long_ time, Judy. Just like your hidden biases against preds. Maybe all I needed was a similar push to go over the edge for good."

She still didn't respond.

He couldn't avoid her eyes anymore. He was starting to need the comfort himself. Nick gently grabbed her by the cheeks and turned her head to look at him. "Can you tell me that it's impossible?"

"N-No…" Even so, she pulled his arms away. "I just don't understand why this is troubling you so much  _now._ You've proven how good of a mammal you are more times than I can count, saved numerous lives, brought down terrible criminals, and now we're married, with two beautiful children," a loud crash resounded from outside the room, "who need to be put to bed soon. The point is, you've got such a wonderful life now, Nick. What's the point of even dwelling on this?" she asked, almost pleadingly.

He smiled back, very slightly. "Because now we have a way of finding out for sure."

* * *

Judy's confidence started to wane halfway to Tundratown. Perhaps it was only then that she finally managed to process all the information that was dumped on her. Mayor Bellwether had been arrested, the savage predators were all a part of a conspiracy she had led, that conspiracy was now fully exposed thanks to a mysterious whistleblower, that whistleblower may or may not be Zootopia's newest crime lord, and to top it all off, Chief Bogo trusted  _her_ of all mammals to investigate him.

Any sane mammal would have turned around by now, but Judy was still driving. She knew exactly why, of course. She was doing this because she was desperate to prove herself, despite the fact that the same attitude had resulted in her losing her police badge. If someone asked her yesterday whether or not she was satisfied being a PI, she would have answered yes without hesitation, but clearly she was just lying to herself. The second Bogo opened the possibility up to her, she jumped headlong into it like Clawhauser at a Gazelle concert.

_Great, I'm already making ZPD-themed similes._

If there was any small comfort in all of this, it was that her hours of research and planning had at least given her a solid idea of what she was going to do when she got there. With that amount of preparation, nothing could stop her. Hopefully, she wasn't just lying to herself about that too.

The place wasn't difficult to find, not when she could hear the music coming from it almost the second she entered Tundratown. Not like anyone was going to file a noise complaint against the mafia. It served as a decent enough distraction as she drew closer, observing an interesting phenomenon going on in the streets in front of her. Most of the cars went out of their way to avoid going anywhere near the source of the music, even pulling illegal u-turns that she forced herself to ignore. Many other vehicles, however, were following a close, single-file line directly towards the place. It was this line that Judy joined, and once another car came in behind her, there was no turning back.

Thankfully, she wasn't entirely conspicuous or her mission might have ended right there. Her choice of car was a modest brown, and in no way rabbit or carrot-related. She learned quickly as a PI not to give such obvious details away before even getting to the location. The immense anxiety coursing through her also did a good job of keeping her ears lowered and out of sight.

She should be safe for now.

Unfortunately, there wasn't much longer to go before they arrived. The guests entered through a stone gate that, at one time, must have looked very sophisticated. Now it was adorned with a neon sign that read, "WELCOME TO THE FOXHOLE!"

There was polar bear guard standing by it, verifying the identity of every mammal that passed through. This was the first hurdle, but Judy had expected as much. Once her turn came, she lowered the window and gave the bear the fiercest scowl she could. "Hey, what's da big idea?! Youse don' know who I am or somethin'?!"

The bear stared blankly back.

Then laughed. "Well, aren't you cute? Don't worry, Boss says this is an open invite to anyone who's not a cop." He leaned towards the window and glared at her. "You're  _not_ a cop, right?"

"Uh…"

Then he laughed again. "As if! Go on in, Ms. killer rabbit."

_Just take the invite, Judy._ "...Thanks." In a considerably soured mood, the bunny passed through the gate. Sadly, her backup plan was to feign ignorance and play up the cute bunny angle to charm her way through. Maybe she hadn't planned this out as well as she thought.

She continued to follow the line of cars around the next corner, coming out into a massive courtyard behind the estate. Bright lights hung over the place, illuminating tables packed with the best of Zootopia's worst. They were a colorful bunch, to be sure, and almost entirely made up of predators. If she weren't feeling out of her depth before, she certainly was now. There were drink fountains, confectionaries, and even a giant ice sculpture of an impressively lifelike bear. RJ really went all out on the decorating.

The same could not be said for the parking. As Mr. Big hadn't been one for parties, unless his daughter wanted one, there wasn't much in the way of space. All of the vehicles were more or less crammed together in a giant ring surrounding the event, which Judy ended up forced into, effectively trapping her here. It seemed that RJ hadn't planned this out too well either, yet his inadequacy was actually making things harder for her. For a second, she almost wished she was still on parking duty just so she could slap him with a safety violation. But for now, she was going to need more than a little bit of luck just to make it out of this alive. While she hated the stereotype, she gave both of her feet a quick rub anyway, then stepped out of the car.

Her first instinct was to stay put until the traffic around her cleared out, but she knew she would blend in much better if she joined the crowd of much larger mammals heading for the party. She just had to be careful not to get stepped on, a skill she had a lot of practice in. She walked at a slightly fast pace to keep rhythm with the crowd, and as they passed by a table, quickly darted under it.

She mentally slapped herself for not checking  _which_ table she chose to hide herself under, for this one was full of wolves in biker gear who detected something wrong immediately. She held her breath as the sound of sniffing rang out above her. "Hey, how long is it until dinner time? Something smells more appetizin' than a fishery up in flames."

"Patience, brother. Just sit down and have your water."

"Ugh, fine." There was a loud sipping noise, followed by gasping and sputtering.

"Not that fast!" The rest of the wolves started teasing the choking victim, promptly forgetting all about her.

Relieved, Judy cautiously poked her head out of the tablecloth, seeking a safer hiding spot. One ear pointed towards some faint, scratching sounds, coming from some itchy Outbackers who were clearly very distracted already. Perfect. Judy zipped from under one table to the other, so fast that she was barely even a blur. Her presence in this new vicinity didn't elicit so much as a leg twitch, making her far more confident to hunker down until she saw an opportunity to get inside the building.

She didn't have to wait very long. The music was abruptly cut short as a loud, aggressive voice boomed over the speakers. " _Ladies and gentlemammals, it's the moment you've all been waiting for! Now presenting your host with the most, the foxy with the moxie, Reynaaaaaaaard Juniooooooooooor! ...Can't believe I had to say all that crap."_ As soon as the introduction come to an end, a series of loud booming noises erupted around them. Too curious for her own good, Judy once again chanced a peek outside.

Several sets of fireworks were going off all at once, shooting into the air and exploding into a pattern that spelled out "RJ" in giant letters. No wonder the parking was such a mess; all the budget had gone into the special effects.

"Oi, why do we hafta' listen to this great bloomin' wanker speak again?"

"Because we need ta know if he's gonna be a problem for us. We'll be back at tha club soon enough."

"I hope so. This suit is bloody torture, it is."

The constant scratching was only a minor distraction now that Judy was finally getting her first look at RJ in person. The fox was as stylish as he appeared in the photo, wearing that same black suit with a fountain pen stuffed into his front pocket. He stepped up to a podium on the deck overlooking the crowd and was greeted by a chorus of applause, genuine or otherwise. He removed the pen from his pocket, popped off the fox-shaped headpiece, then placed it into the stand normally used for a microphone. This was exceedingly odd behavior until he started speaking, his voice echoing across the courtyard just as if he were speaking into an actual mic. " _Greetings, fellow mammals of the legally-adjacent variety, and welcome to my humble celebration!"_

_Humble, my fluffy little rear._ But Judy soon realized that this was her chance. All eyes were on RJ now, and  _he_ was more focused on making himself look good than anything else. Her eyes instantly searched out the next closest table and she disappeared under it, this one occupied by some festive felines in...mariachi uniforms?

" _Thank you all for accepting my invitation, even though half of you are just here to scout me out and the other half are already considering killing me. Let me show my appreciation with the great unifier...free food! My foxy ladies here will now be serving you._ Food _. Let's keep things civilized, folks."_

From her new position, Judy spied a trio of scantily-clad, arctic fox vixens wheeling out food carts. They wore the bare minimum of clothing, matching gold earrings, and name tags that identified them as Pearl, Opal, and Crystal. Their arrival was met by a hail of wolf whistles, and not just from the wolves, raising RJ's approval rating a few notches already. "Join us in the hot tub later, RJ?" Opal asked coyly, blowing a kiss at him.

" _You know it, babe."_ He winked back.

Judy wasn't sure why, but she hated them already.

" _Repulsiva!_ I don't see any appeal in canine women. I feel the need to sing about my immense disgust."

"Please control yourself, Jefe. We must not draw attention."

At least she wasn't the only one. Judy waited as a cart crossed directly in front of her, then leapt across the floor to another table, the patrons more distracted than ever.

" _I know it's hard, but if you could draw your attention back to me? Thanks. Now, let's not beat around the bush here, I'm guessing most of you don't trust me. Which is a good call, by the way. But if there's one thing I can get behind, it's honor among thieves. We've_ all  _been put down, spat on, trampled underfoot by mammals who think they're above us. Prey, the cops, prey cops, you name it. Me? I'm not about to be another link on that chain."_

Judy bit her lip. This table was as close as she could get to the estate unnoticed, but not close enough. She needed another vantage point.

A loud, girlish giggle drew her ire once again. The vixens were passing around meals of fish, insects, confectionaries, and even pawpsicles, all while being ogled from every possible angle. Shameless, but it might just provide an opening.

" _So I'm here to tell you all, I come in peace. I'm not gonna mooch off your resources, I'm not gonna encroach on your territory, I'm not gonna go on some homicidal rampage against all of you, okay? Hopefully, that helps to settle some of the more paranoid members of my audience. Yeah, I'm talking to_ you _, Lady Lang! Or should I say, Lady Lang's_ representatives?  _Say hi to Momma for me!"_

Ignoring the sounds of lupine growling, Judy stayed hidden and let out an alluring whistle. The response was immediate. "Oh? Wasn't expecting to hear anything from  _you_ boys," one of the vixens cooed, already coming towards her position.

It occurred to Judy then that this group of guests was particularly odd. None of them had legs at all and, in fact, appeared to be sitting in a large water tank. "No! We cannot eat your wicked food! We are forbidden!"

"Away with you, heathen!"

"Aw shucks, that is the second-worst rejection I've ever gotten." The vixen, Crystal, pouted and rolled away again, but not before Judy hitched a ride on the covered bottom of her cart. "Even the cart feels heavier. This must be, like, weighing on my soul or something."

" _Hey, don't feel_ too  _bad. I'm surprised Narwhalter sent anyone at all, but maybe I shouldn't be. Don't worry, guys, the 'Predator Agenda' isn't planning on eating your boss yet!"_

Between RJ's speech and Crystal's vapid flirting, Judy wished her ears weren't so sensitive. She reminded herself of what awaited her should she pull this off, and how much better that would be than being stuck on this food cart, then it suddenly became a lot easier. Crystal's path took Judy far from her goal at first, but eventually looped around again as she started to run out of food, all while RJ continued rambling on.

" _I'm sure some of you are wondering about Mr. Big and what he thinks about my new position. Well, I'm happy to share that he has been very supportive and gave me full blessings to-oh, who am I kidding? We all know what happened there, and that's because we've all_ been  _there. So let's not pass any judgements...unless your judgement is that I'm really awesome for pulling that off, in which case, judge away!_

Finally, Crystal parked her cart back on the deck and stretched out, going back to "mingle" with the guests some more. Judy was almost there now. Only problem: there were two entrances into the estate and both were guarded by a heavyset polar bear. After her extensive training in the academy, she didn't doubt her ability to fight a bear if she had to...but not silently.

" _And let's be honest, it's going to be a lot easier to do business with someone who you can see without a magnifying lens. I know none of you were going to_ say  _that, but we're all thinking it. Whoa, put the pie down, Finn! It was a joke! Geez, talk about sensitive."_

Judy's ears shot up, curling together in such a way that vaguely resembled a light bulb. She reached her tiny paw up through the covering and onto the cart, making sure to pick the side  _not_ facing the crowd. There wasn't much left after the guests had picked it clean aside from scraps and piles of fish paste. Judy shuddered at the touch, but this would do the job alright. Holding a big glob of paste in her paw, she leaned slowly around the side and scanned the group for the biggest, meanest mammal she could find, settling on one of the biker wolves. Then she threw the glob as hard as she could at his face.

"GAH! What the-?!"

She missed, but it quickly became apparent that it didn't matter.

" _In conclusion, you have nothing to fear from me. So I'll stay out of your way, you stay out of mine, and we can all live happily ever-"_

"Whoever threw that is deader than a lemming on a skyscraper!"

" _...after?"_

Judy had hidden herself again before the fish paste even finished its journey. Her unfortunate victim had no chance of signalling her out as the culprit. But she  _did_ just so happen to be in the same trajectory as the feline table. "It was  _you_ , wasn't it?!"

"Amigo, I don't have to stoop to your level to prove myself your superior. You are proving it quite nicely already."

There was a snarl, and then another whooshing of food.

He missed too, hitting the Outbackers. "HEY!"

" _Uh, security? Do you maybe wanna do something about-?"_

"FOR THE PACK!"

"FOR THE OUTBACK!"

"FOR SHUTTING UP THIS HACK!"

The feast erupted into chaos soon afterwards, food flying every which way. No one was safe, not even the three vixens, letting out high-pitched shrieks over their soiled fur. Judy considered that a bonus.

" _Really, guys?! This is seriously_ not  _how this was supposed to go! At least, I don't think it was..."_ RJ was promptly struck by a rogue pawpsicle. The result was the most deadpan expression of pure annoyance Judy had ever seen, somewhat undercut by the pawpsicle now stuck to his face. Too low for anyone but her to hear, he muttered, "Maybe I  _should_ have just killed them all." Without even looking, he signalled both door guards to help break up the fighting.

This was working out so much better than Judy could have hoped. So far at least, her luck was holding steady. Whether or not her feet were responsible, she still used them to rush inside the building as quickly as she could, not looking back even as the pandemonium outside faded behind her.

* * *

Compared to what she had just left behind, the interior of the compound was eerily quiet. She got chills just walking through it, though that could have been due to the low temperatures the bears kept it at. On the plus side, she hadn't had to avoid a single guard thus far. Even considering the incident she had just caused, this was some pretty lax security for an aspiring crime lord. Pride before the fall.

As soon as she got a feel for the layout, she beelined it straight for the main office. Judy pushed open the double doors with some effort...and was instantly repulsed by the horrific sight inside.

The place was disturbingly clean, the floors and walls shining with a polish unlike anything else in the building. No doubt the result of heavy renovation efforts as even the doors she just came through looked brand spanking new. Perhaps the most sickening change of all was a portrait of RJ himself grinning at her from atop the mantle.

Fighting down her revulsion, Judy looked around for anything that could give her some info on RJ's operations. As she headed over to tear the desk apart, she noticed a second hallway to her right. This one led down to a rodent-sized bedroom, a sign reading "Fru Fru" large enough to be visible from here. Judy couldn't help but close her eyes out of respect for the poor girl and her father, crime family they may have been.

It was during this moment of silence that one of her ears twitched. The bunny nearly dove for cover until she realized the sound was coming from that very hallway. It didn't sound like a guard either, but something much more frantic and muffled. Even between the silence of the room and her hypersensitive hearing, she barely caught it. Poking her head into the corridor, she saw something else to her left: a giant metal door that seemed to be some sort of walk-in freezer. Given the locale, she could make a few guesses exactly  _what_ sort. Judy slowly approached the door and pressed her ear to the cold surface.

The sound of panicked screaming was much clearer now.

Suddenly, the desk didn't seem so important anymore. Judy stood on her tiptoes to reach the large wheel that kept it shut, pushing up against one of the spokes. With her stubby rabbit arms, it barely budged, and she didn't have much time to waste. Flipping over to stand on her paws instead, she kicked the thing as hard as she could again and again. Not the most delicate method, but it worked. The door creaked open slowly and Judy rushed inside nearly without regard for her own safety, but the sight inside brought her to a sudden stop.

Bound and gagged on a steel chair was a shivering black panther, dressed in a white shirt and slacks. The feline had suffered greatly, and not just from the extreme cold, as he was covered in cuts and bruises from methods she shuddered to think about. His eyes shot open the second he saw her, pleading to her for help. Judy wasted no time in doing just that, yanking the gag from his mouth and starting to undo the ropes on his legs. "Th-Thank you," he stammered, still shivering as he spoke.

"Just doing what any decent mammal would," Judy said, somewhat bitterly. It took her a second to remember proper courtesy. "Detective Hopps, Private Investigator."

"Ma...Manchas. I used to be a driver for M-Mr. Big."

Judy reminded herself that criminal affiliations didn't make him any less worthy of rescue. "Then why did RJ do this to you?"

"Because h-he's a madmammal."

"I noticed. Why else?" She grit her teeth. These ropes were being terribly stubborn.

"He w-wants something from m-me. Get me out of here a-and I'll tell you e-everything."

Then again, criminals did tend to make rescues difficult. Not that she could blame him, considering the conditions he was trying to escape. The poor guy must be desperate. "Alright, I'll get you to safety, Manchas. You have my word."

"Oh thank you, thank you!" He started bouncing around in his seat with newfound energy.

"Gonna need you to hold still though."

"Sorry."

With the panther's cooperation, Judy finally managed to get his leg bindings off, then moved around to his backside.

"You gotta be kidding me…"

She stopped dead in her tracks. The sudden voice was punctuated by a loud creak, the sound of the freezer door being pulled open the rest of the way. Standing between them and the exit was a short, fennec fox and two bears, all three clothed in black suits and various foodstuffs. "RJ tells me to go check on the prisoner, thinks there might be an intruder," the fennec said. "I tell  _him_ that he's reading way too much into this, so he asks me if I want to  _bet_  on that." He glared daggers at her, beating a baseball bat into his open palm. "You just cost me twenty bucks, rabbit!"

Judy stiffened. Either RJ's intuition was better than she thought or, somehow, this had all been a trap. But was that even possible? She found herself subconsciously getting into a defensive stance, academy flashbacks going through her head. Either way, she knew she wasn't getting out of here without a fight.

"Should we tell the boss, Finnick?" asked one of the bears.

"What, that we couldn't handle a rogue bunny by ourselves?" the fennec snapped. "I don't need to embarrass myself any more tonight. Just lock her in."

The other bear went to shut the door again, but Judy was faster. They hadn't expected a meek little bunny to rush them and that moment of surprise was all she needed to land a flying kick straight between Finnick's eyes, launching the small fox into the opposing wall. He seemed almost glued there for a second or two, then flopped comically to the ground. The bears gaped openly, glancing between Judy, Finnick, and each other.

"Kick their butts, Detective Hopps!" Manchas cheered from behind her.

That finally spurred the bears into action, swiping their large claws at her almost in tandem. Judy was forced back into the freezer as she leapt away, both massive bodies charging in after her. His legs freed, Manchas managed to prop himself onto his feet and rush out the door, apparently leaving her to her fate.  _Criminals._

Even with her speed and agility, Judy struggled to keep ahead of them. She ducked one bear's swipe and kicked him across the jaw, springing back to sock the other in the eye, then barely dodged away from an attempted bite. She wasn't doing much damage and either of them could kill her with one blow. Not good odds.

It wasn't long until they finally cornered her. Because of her size, they had to lean down to get at her, and that's when she saw her opening. She leapt over the bears' heads and onto their backs, quickly grabbing them by the ears and slamming their skulls together. Briefly stunning them, Judy took this chance to sprint out of the freezer.

She was so focused on escape that she failed to notice Finnick's dropped bat until she tripped over it. Eyes wide, she looked back to see the bears charging straight for her.

Until the door was abruptly closed in their faces. Pressing his back to the surface, Manchas smiled at her.

_Okay, so he's not so bad._ "Thanks."

"Just doing what any decent mammal would."

Fierce growling arose from the other side of the door as its new prisoners pounded on it, but it seemed like it would hold...for now. "Guess they should've picked on someone their own size," Judy snarked.

"Good thing  _I_ don't have that problem."

They turned around. Across the hall, Finnick cracked his neck and snarled at them.

* * *

" _The party haaaaaaaaas, come to an ennnnnnnnnnd!"_

" _Our differenceeeeeees, we could not meeeeeeeeeend!"_

" _The food, it flieeeeeeeees, all through the niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight!"_

" _It seems that weeeeeeeeee, can't help but fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight!"_

RJ had seen enough. By this point, even  _he_ was covered in food from his rowdy guests, though mostly from the torso up due to his conveniently placed podium. Deciding it was time to put an end to this, he pulled out a megaphone from seemingly nowhere, combined it with an air horn, then blew the latter into the former into the microphone.

The riot was brought to an immediate halt, its perpetrators literally stunned into silence by the deafening sound wave, but not before they had effectively destroyed the entire area. Snatching up his pen again, RJ finally stepped down from the podium and gave the crowd a look akin to a disappointed parent, eyes narrowed and pen twirling. "So...what do you have to say for yourselves?"

"He started it!"

"No,  _he_ started it!"

"He made me start it!"

RJ facepawed. "Okay, can I get any  _other_ perspectives?"

"We're not beautiful anymore!" the vixens wailed, hugging each other for support.

"Girls, girls, you're still beautiful where it really matters," he reassured them. "The heart."

"Awwwwwwwwwww!"

"But seriously, you can go inside and clean up if you want."

They raced past him in a heartbeat as a sexy, white blur, vanishing into the building. RJ took a moment to stare off at them appreciatively before turning his attention back to the guests. "As for the rest of you, congrats on ruining my party before it even started. Luckily for you, I never cared about it in the first place or else I might have to get all stabby again. So with all due respect, if you don't mind,  _get the hell off my property."_

There were grunts of derision mixed with relief as the guests slowly sauntered away and drove off...as soon as they figured out which order they needed to escape the parking system.

Not giving them a second thought, RJ whirled around on his heels and headed inside. Indeed, the party was the  _last_ thing on his mind right now.

* * *

Judy yanked Manchas out of the way as Finnick lunged, which kept him safe, but unfortunately allowed the fox to retrieve his weapon. His ire focused entirely on her, Finnick swing the bat ferociously again and again, once again putting Judy on the defensive. "You think you're better than me, huh?! You self-righteous prey are all the same!"

Judy dodged away down the hall until her back was up against what used to be Fru Fru's room. "This coming from a crime lord's sidekick? You don't need  _my_ help being on the bottom."

"We didn't have a choice!" She sidestepped his next swing, which struck the wall with a loud crack. "Society's treated us like dirt since day one!" Another swing smashed the sign over the door. "And it only got worse once those savages started popping up!" Then the door itself was caved in. "It was either come out on top or wind up dead in an alley somewhere!" The wall's foundation began to cave. "Where were  _you_ when  _we_ were in trouble?!"

Judy rolled under his last, desperate blow and came out behind him, kicking out with her hind legs and nailing him in the back. Finnick stumbled forward and crashed into the weakened wall, which crumbled on top of him. She didn't feel entirely good about it though. "I'm sorry I couldn't help you back then. It was my own failure...in more than one regard."

"It doesn't matter now anyway." Finnick slowly picked himself back up, shaking dust and rubble off of himself. "We didn't trust prey to begin with and then we find out that a  _sheep_ was behind all of it? No, it's too late for your lousy apologies. N-RJ is gonna run this city into the ground and I'll watch it happen with a smile on my face and a bag of popcorn."

She tried to ignore the persistent guilt in her chest. "So it  _was_ you that exposed Mayor Bellwether?"

"Damn straight. I only wish I could've seen the look on her stupid face."

"Thanks." She withdrew her carrot pen and played back that very admission. Morally conflicted or not, it was worth it for the look on  _his_ stupid face.

It quickly turned into a far more dangerous expression. "Bad move, rabbit." Without warning, he sprung forward, spinning Judy around and pressing the bat up against her throat. "Now I  _know_ I gotta get rid of you."

They stumbled back into the rubble grappling like this, a fight that Judy was only just managing to keep ahead of as she lost more and more oxygen. Getting desperate, she slowly reached down to her side, towards her can of fox repellent.

" _He's coming!"_ Manchas suddenly shrieked.

Finnick was just as caught off-guard by this as she was, but Judy recovered faster, using the slight opening to elbow the fennec hard in the gut. He gasped and dropped the bat, staggering back. Judy picked up another blunt object that she only just realized used to be Fru Fru's bed before she smashed it over him.

Seeing stars, and feathers, Finnick collapsed to the ground and didn't get up again. Judy looked back at Manchas, rubbing her throat. "Nice distraction."

"It wasn't a distraction," he said, still not looking at her. "We need to leave,  _now!"_

Feeling the adrenaline coursing, Judy switched from fight to flight, looking for a way out. Going back the way she came in seemed inadvisable, but there were so many doors lining this hallway alone that she had no idea where to go.

"That way!" Manchas yelled, as if reading her mind. He pointed his head sharply at a door, still struggling with the chair tied to his back.

Increasingly grateful to her new partner, Judy didn't waste the time to question it, bolting through the door and shutting it as soon as Manchas made it through.

His knowledge of the layout proved accurate, and even as her sharp ears picked up mammals scrambling throughout the building, they burst out through a side door and made a run for it. As Judy had feared, there was no getting her car back now, a sacrifice she would gladly make in exchange for her life. Not daring to look back, they kept running until the Big estate was no longer in sight.

* * *

"This night just keeps getting better." RJ strolled silently across the vacant hallway, stopping only briefly to knock on the freezer door. "Hey, mind giving me an update?"

"The prisoner escaped!" Raymond shouted back.

"Yeah, kinda gathered that. Wanna tell me  _how?"_

Both he and Kevin hesitated to answer.

"Actually, forget about it. I think I'm just gonna let you guys cool off."

"Thank you, sir!" they were about to say before realizing that he meant leaving them in the freezer. Like revenge, a good pun was best served cold.

He next made his way over to Finnick, still lying unconscious in a pile of rubble. "I know I gave you the role of delegator, but that doesn't mean you can sleep on the job. Wakey wakey." He not-so-gently kicked him in the side.

Finnick groaned as he was finally stirred awake. "Gonna kill you, Mom, I swear to-Nick!"

"Flattering, but it's  _RJ_. What happened?"

Finnick looked him up and down, confused to see a perfectly clean and groomed fox again. "Did you stop at the  _spa_ on the way here?"

"Focus, Finn!"

The fennec staggered back to his feet. "You should've seen 'em! A dozen, no,  _two_ dozen armed mammals just came rushing in! There were lions, and tigers, and, uh, bears!"

"Oh my." RJ rolled his eyes. "Just answer me one thing." He kneeled down to his level, his expression so intense it made even Finnick flinch.

"Was there a  _rabbit_ with them?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I warned you there would be in-jokes. The scene at the party was probably the most you'll see in one chapter, featuring several characters from BtBW's various criminal gangs all mingling and getting along (or trying too anyway). It's for this reason that I didn't describe them in much detail. If you know who they are, hope you enjoyed all the cameos. If not, no worries because they won't be coming back anyway.
> 
> You probably DO recognize those vixens, however. They come from Zootopia's concept art as secondary members of Mr. Big's (well, Koslov's) organization. They don't have official names as far as I know, so I went with white gemstones. They each have a certain way of speaking that you will quickly learn to differentiate them by...because they're all incredibly obnoxious habits of valley girl stereotypes.
> 
> Another trademark of my writing comes through in this chapter: crazy, over-the-top fight scenes. This one was pretty tame by my standards, but it won't be the last of 'em, don't you worry. ;)


	3. Bun on the Run

**RJ**

**Chapter III: Bun on the Run**

**Written by Berserker88**

**Edited by Mind Jack & DrummerMax64**

**Cover art by SaittaMicus**

****

* * *

"You want a scenario where you're...evil?" Martin Fitwik sat back in his chair, regarding Officer Wilde with a look that questioned both his motives and his sanity. "Haven't you already done that? Like the one where you're a hitmammal? Or the one where you're  _both_ hitmammals?"

"Yes, but that's not what I'm looking for," Nick explained patiently. "Even in both of those scenarios, there was still one thing keeping me from being truly  _evil_ , and you're looking at her." He gestured down to his beautiful wife, who was right now giving him a similar expression. "I want to know what I would be like  _without_ Judy's influence. Completely."

"I...I see." He started pivoting around in his chair uncomfortably, rotating once, twice, three times before he finally came to a stop. "But I don't have anything like that for you."

"Really?" He didn't miss Judy's quiet sigh of relief next to him.

"You need to understand, Officer Wilde, the PIXAR machine is designed for entertainment purposes above all else," Fitwik stressed. "Sure, it's fun to play the villain every now and then, but no mammal is going to pay to see their  _actual_ dark side made manifest. That's just too close to home."

"Then I guess that's just another way I'm unique," Nick said, undeterred. "Can you  _make_ one?"

"Of course I can." Fitwik noticed the silencing gestures from Judy a second too late. "But...maybe I shouldn't?"

"Carrots, I thought we talked about this," Nick said, looking down at her.

"We did." She bit her lip. "That doesn't mean I'm comfortable with it. Martin is right, Nick. This is way too close to home for comfort. Did you ever stop to think that maybe I don't  _want_ to know how bad you could have been? The Nick I fell in love with is right in front of me."

"That's so cute," Fitwik gushed, making both Nick and Judy glare at him. "I'll be checking the logs when you need me." He took off behind the curtain.

Nick kneeled down to look his mate in the eyes. "I'm not doing this because I'm unsatisfied with the life I have now. This is for a sense of closure, so I can put any lingering darkness behind me for good and keep my full focus on you and the kits. That doesn't sound so bad, does it?"

"You have such a way with words," she grumbled. "Making me feel like an idiot just for being concerned."

"You're not an idiot, just very emotional," he chuckled, pecking her on the forehead. "It's not like you're wrong either. This is probably a terrible idea."

"But you still want to do it?"

"Hey, I never said  _I_ wasn't an idiot." He grinned back, getting Judy to smile as well in spite of herself. "Just remember, this isn't permanent. If it ever gets too scary for you, this is still just a simulation and we can yank ourselves out at any time. And then I'll give you a nice dinner and a foot rub to make up for it, alright?"

Now he had managed a full laugh out of her. "Oh, okay. If it's that important to you, I won't stop you just because I'm not completely comfortable with it. We've been through worse."

"Like the mob of killer rabbits."

"Or getting attacked by a shark."

"Or being lawyers. I still have nightmares about that one."

Fitwik cleared his throat, poking his head out from behind the curtain. "Have we come to a decision?"

"Against my better judgement, Nick talked me into it," Judy answered, Nick feigning innocence behind her. "So what do we have to do to make this happen?"

Fitwik emerged, still looking a bit unsure about this himself. "Well, normally I design a basic template and give you guys the memories to match. But in this case, since we're basing it off of what might have actually happened, we'll need to do the opposite."

"What does that mean?" Judy asked, suddenly on edge again.

"It means that he needs PIXAR to read from my own memories and construct something based on that," Nick said, his face unreadable.

"That's right," Fitwik confirmed. "I know you're not very open about your past, but I'm afraid that's the only way we're going to make an accurate simulation. Either that, or I create an elaborate questionnaire with a few hundred questions to-"

"I'll take the brain-sucking machine, thanks," Nick said quickly. "Though you better keep this under wraps before the government confiscates PIXAR. You could start a war with this technology."

"I'll take that as a compliment. Right this way." Fitwik beckoned Nick to follow him through the curtain. The fox took one last look back at Judy, giving her a reassuring wink, then disappeared behind the fabric.

Somehow, that only made her  _more_ nervous, but she shook it off quickly. It felt silly to even be worried at all when they'd done this a hundred times already. So what if this one was a bit more personal? What was the worst that could happen?

* * *

"Alright, I think we're safe for now…"

Judy peered cautiously out the window of their shared ski lift. The vehicle was small and too creaky for comfort, but it would do. Without a car, it was a good thing Tundratown had several options available to travel about. Skidoos were too fast, Flow Ped too slow, but this moderately quick, well-concealed flying box was just right.

And while they made the journey back to Savannah Central, it gave her ample time to question her new ally. "Alright, Manchas, are you ready to talk about what RJ wanted from you yet?"

Manchas flinched. She wasn't  _trying_ to intimidate him, but he'd been pretty jumpy ever since she met him. It was to be expected after who knows what those beasts did to him, so she forced herself to be patient. "...Perhaps, I should start from the beginning, Detective Hopps."

Judy nodded, already with her pen and notepad to glean as much info as possible.

"It all began with a fox named Nick Wilde. Long ago, he used to be one of Mr. Big's best suppliers, bringing in all sorts of illegal goods. Until one day, he made the mistake of pawning off a very expensive rug...made from the butt of a skunk."

Judy paused in her note-taking, raising an eyebrow. "Sweet cheese and that's really gross."

"As you can imagine, the boss didn't take it so well when he found out. Frankly, Wilde was lucky to escape with his life." He sighed, leaning back against the cold, metal wall. "But that's not where the story ends."

"I should hope not."

"Many years later, the machinations of that sheep, Bellwether, took their toll. With his very livelihood threatened, Mr. Big decided to lay low and not get involved. It was a move intended to protect our family from the chaos outside, but not all of our family agreed. Some saw it as cowardly, feeling that we should be doing more to protect our fellow predators outside. A cultural difference, perhaps. Shrews aren't as social as bears."

"And then Wilde came back?" Judy asked. "It's not hard to guess," she added, seeing the look on his face.

"You are correct," he admitted. "But it wasn't any kind of grand entrance, at least not at first. He just started showing up around our territory, talking with our less-satisfied mammals outside the job, giving insights that just so happened to correlate with theirs. Mr. Big wanted to do something about him, but he couldn't. Wilde was too careful; he knew our policies and stayed  _just_ within the boundaries of what he could get away with. Mr. Big couldn't break his own code to intervene without damaging his image even further."

Judy stayed silent, finding herself more invested in this story than she expected. It was enough that she had to remind herself to keep writing.

"In the end, it didn't matter. Once the level of dissent had reached its peak, something much worse happened. Evidence was discovered in Mr. Big's possession...evidence of a conspiracy."

_No points for guessing WHICH conspiracy._

"With the organization as unstable as it was, it didn't take anything more to convince the dissidents that Mr. Big had betrayed all of predator-kind. There was a coup…" He shuddered, clearly pained by the memory. "In one night, both Mr. Big and Fru Fru were killed, along with many loyal bears. Before anyone could even begin to discuss who would take over, Nick Wilde returned to do just that."

"And  _no one_  found that suspicious?" Judy asked incredulously.

He shrugged. "The fox has a way with words. Besides, he curried favor almost immediately by choosing to expose this knowledge to the world, a move which kept him in the good graces of the traitors he surrounded himself with. Even if someone  _did_ suspect his involvement, I doubt they cared. They still got exactly what they wanted out of it."

"So then he took control, rechristened himself 'Reynard Junior', and started wreaking havoc," Judy summarized. "But I still don't get it. How could he have possibly come by this knowledge of the conspiracy in the first place?"

"I have no idea," he said. "And I'm not sure I  _want_ to know."

 _Not like I was expecting anything more._ "That's okay. He can answer that in person once he's behind bars. One more question."

"What's that?"

She narrowed her eyes at him. "The one I asked you to begin with. Did you think I wouldn't notice you trying to divert my attention?"

Manchas looked away, very guiltily. "Uh…maybe?"

She would not be diverted again. "What did RJ want you for? Based on what you've told me, you were never loyal to him, but anyone like that should have been killed during the coup. He doesn't strike me as the type to just torture someone for kicks, which tells me you have information that he wants. And for someone who was able to uncover a city-wide conspiracy on his own, it must be a  _very_ well-kept secret." She drew closer to him. "See? You weren't wasting my time after all. Now  _talk."_

Cornered as he was, Manchas was surprisingly forthcoming after that. "He wants...a password."

That was  _not_ what she was expecting. "A password?"

"More specifically, an access code. To Mr. Big's private vault. Even if RJ took over his home, he does not yet possess all of Big's resources. To solidify his position  _and_ put whatever schemes he's plotting into action, getting into that vault is his highest priority."

"Couldn't he just blow it open?"

"Maybe, but not without sullying the legitimacy of his takeover." Manchas paused, a bit uncertain. "Plus, it's a  _really_ nice vault. I don't think he wants to damage it unless he has no other choice."

"Petty, but not surprising from a narcissist like him," she noted, shaking her head. "Now, why would a  _driver_ have knowledge of something like that?"

"You said you only had one more question," he replied cheekily.

"I changed my mind."

"Mr. Big always valued loyalty over position. He trusted very few subordinates with the code to his vault. His head of security, Koslov, was one of them. Another was his closest family friend...myself. But RJ killed Koslov shortly before you arrived. Perhaps he thought I would be an easier target."

From what little she knew of the giant polar bear compared to this scrawny panther, Judy was inclined to agree. "Then it sounds like it's a good thing I got you out when I did."

He nodded, though not with much enthusiasm. "Yes, but that also means RJ will be coming after us full force."

"He can go ahead and try." Judy surprised herself by how firmly she said that. She knew herself to be brave, but taking on a crime lord was borderline suicidal. Then again...she had already done so. And won. Sort of. "Alright, that's enough for now. I need to report this." She pulled out her phone and dialed Chief Bogo's number, the one he had entrusted her with.

And which took him a full five rings to answer. " _Hopps? Is that you? Are you alright?"_

 _Don't sound so surprised to hear from me._ "Yes, but it wasn't easy. I have just the information you were looking for...and a witness."

Manchas tried to protest. "I never said I would-"

" _Really? Tell me what you've got,"_ Bogo said, sounding skeptical, yet hopeful.

Judy gave him a brief summary of her mission thus far, the infiltration, the great escape, and all the information she had just learned from Manchas, plus Finnick's recorded confession, which also served to remind him of a similar recording she had on him. (The pen could only actually hold one recording at a time, but  _he_ didn't know that.)

When she was done, he was no longer skeptical. " _This is perfect! Just the kinda dirt I needed on this punk! Not bad, Hopps. You might just have a bright future with the ZPD after all."_

"Thank you, sir." Judy brightened up. A part of her still wasn't particularly fond of the chief, but that was quickly being overshadowed by the part that saw a second chance at her dream job. "We're on our way back to Precinct 1 now. Then we can-"

" _No!"_ he cut her off, so suddenly it almost made her jump. " _This is still a covert operation, Hopps. You can't just come waltzing in here with some beat-up panther. That would raise far too many questions. I have another way."_

She scowled, her bright mood dissipating just as quickly. "Like what?"  _I mean, it's not like I'm risking my life out here or anything._

" _I'll send a squad to a rendezvous point, somewhere you won't be seen. How about...Aurora Park?"_

"That place lovesick teenagers hang out? Whatever works, I guess." She ignored Manchas visibly trying to signal her in the background.

He continued on as if he hadn't heard her. " _Think you can make it there within the next hour?"_

Manchas shook his head firmly. "Of course. No problem," she said.

" _Good. Then I will see you soon. Good luck, Officer Hopps."_ He hung up, keeping things as short and sweet as ever.

 _Officer Hopps?_ It could've just been another slip of the tongue, but even so, just hearing those words again brought back images she could not ignore. Her, Judy Hopps, back in uniform, fighting to make the world a better place…

"Excuse me," Manchas said, interrupting her daydreaming. "Not to get in the way of your delusions of grandeur or anything, but  _no_   _problem?!_ Do you know how far Aurora Park is from here?! We don't have a car, Detective!"

She bowed her head, embarrassed. "I know. It's just...this is the only chance I'm going to get to win my way back into the ZPD. I can't give the chief any more excuses to keep me out."

Manchas glared. "Your priorities need shifting. Need I remind you what RJ could do if he gets ahold of that password?"

"Alright, alright." She sighed, dragging her paw down her face. "The fate of Zootopia is more important than my personal ambitions. We need all the help we can get keeping it safe. Does that about cover it?"

"Close enough," he answered, smiling. "Call him back."

She hesitated. "Uh…"

On cue, Judy's phone started to ring of its own accord. "Alright, fine!" Taking a deep breath, she answered it. "Chief? There's something I need to tell you…"

" _Oh, I'm sure you could tell me plenty, Carrots,"_ a smooth, familiar voice replied. " _But let's start with my lost cat and the reward for bringing him home."_

Judy nearly dropped the phone in shock. " _RJ?"_ Manchas gasped, practically throwing himself to the floor to keep as out of sight as possible.

" _In the flesh. Figuratively speaking, of course. Good to finally touch base with you, Carrots."_ He clicked his tongue slowly. " _No...no, that name isn't doing it for me. How about 'Twitchy'?"_

Judy wasn't concerned about her nickname right now, even as her nose was already justifying it. "How did you get my number?" Her mind was already racing with possibilities. Even if he had already identified her car, she had left nothing on it that could trace it back to her, and certainly not fast enough to already get her phone number.

" _Easier than you think,"_ was all he said. That only made her  _more_ anxious, which was doubtlessly the intent. " _Quite the interesting life you lead, Judith Laverne Hopps."_

She struggled to regain her composure. She couldn't let this creep get to her. "I could say the same,  _Nick Wilde."_

" _Oh no. You know that name. What ever shall I do?"_ He didn't even  _try_ to sound surprised. " _You sure you wanna play this game, Twitchy? Bonnie and Stu might not approve. Wouldn't want your humiliation to spread all around Bunnyburrow. Then you might never accomplish your lifelong dream of becoming a cop, like you told them all back in that school play of yours. How's that scar doing, by the way?"_

It took Judy a moment to realize she was hyperventilating.

RJ laughed softly, mockingly. " _I know all about you, Twitchy. Frankly, a lot more than I want to. So let's just skip to the part where you surrender your fuzzy little friend to me."_

She clenched her fists, her fear buried as fiery defiance bubbled to the surface. "Guess you don't know me as well as you think. Haven't you heard? I don't know when to quit."

" _I do,"_ he said bluntly. " _Before you got in my way."_

He hung up.

Manchas hadn't budged since the conversation started, but now peeked out through his fingers at her. "W-What do we do?"

Judy's tiny paw tightened around the phone. "I'll tell you what I'm gonna do. Call Chief Bogo, get some backup, and take this psycho down!" She didn't hesitate now to redial Bogo's number and put the phone to her ear.

" _Seven daaaaaaaaaaaaays,"_ an eerie voice whispered. " _Just kidding. You won't last seven_ hours _, Twitchy."_

Judy shrieked, chucking the phone as hard as she could at the wall of the ski lift _._ It broke on impact as the screen turned black, but Judy wasn't satisfied until she stomped the device into several, barely-distinguishable pieces. It was more embarrassing than anything. "How did he  _do_  that?!"

"Oh, this is bad, this is really bad." Manchas rocked back and forth on his heels. "We need to get out of here."

"Way ahead of you." Without hesitation, she unlatched the door and kicked it open, letting the cold winds howl through. "You wanna go first?"

Manchas was deeply regretting his choice of words. "Are you crazy?!"

"We don't have a lot of options here!" she shouted back, long ears flapping in the wind. "RJ was probably tracking my phone, and if he was, it's only a matter of time until he suspects we're taking a ski lift! So unless you want to deal with his goons at the next lift station, we need to jump!"

The panther took a deep breath and stood up. Evidently, his fear of RJ was stronger than his fear of heights. "O-Okay, I can do this. Just give me a second to-AH!" He stepped towards the door, but stepped just a bit too far, the sudden shift of weight in the small car causing him to stumble straight out.

Judy winced. "That'll do." Not wanting to get seperated, she quickly jumped after him.

The plan wasn't as suicidal as it seemed. Much like the recreational kind of ski lifts, these vehicles were purely for convenience and usually didn't ascend too high. On top of that, Tundratown had more than a few veritable mountains of snow that would cushion the landing.

Judy didn't hit any of them. Instead, she landed in a freezing river nearby, but it wasn't her first time doing  _that_ either. The bunny gasped and shivered as she scurried frantically out of the plunge, flashbacks from the academy running through her mind. "S-S-Still n-not d-d-dead."

As soon as she managed to shake some warmth back into herself, she started looking around for Manchas. It didn't take long. Luckily for him, the big cat  _had_ landed in the show, creating a comical outline of his flailing body that he slowly crawled out of. "That...wasn't so bad, I guess."

"S-Speak for y-yourself."

He remained skeptical. "But we still have to get to Aurora Park and now we don't have  _any_ mode of transport."

Judy looked around. No sign of pursuit yet, just a lot of arctic mammals who must have thought them insane and the towering building that formed the famous Halibut's Cafe. She smiled, all thoughts of the cold pushed to the back of her mind. "Leave that to me."

* * *

A few blocks away, a black van was patrolling slowly down an isolated street. "Ugh, this is, like, boring. Why'd some stupid rabbit have to interrupt our RJ time?"

"Don't complain, Crystal," Pearl scolded, practically leaning over the steering wheel. "She slipped in under our watch, remember? This is  _so_ our responsibility."

" _Ugh,"_ Crystal emphasized again, slumping against the back wall. She had lost the right to ride in either of the actual seats as a direct result of paper beating rock.

Opal, the paper in question, was perfectly content painting her toe claws on the dashboard. "Think of it this way: once we literally bag the bunny, RJ will have to reward us, right? Maybe we'll get something even  _better_ than the hot tub." She winked knowingly at her sisters.

Pearl's tail wagged as she smiled back at her. "That's the spirit. So just stay focused and this night may just pick up after all."

*THUMP*

The entire van lurched violently, causing Pearl to smack into the steering wheel, Crystal to topple over, and Opal to ruin her pedicure. "What  _now?!"_ the former snarled.

"Uh...girls? Look." Crystal pointed a shaky finger ahead of them. Lying in the middle of the road, covered in a copious amount of blood, was a black panther.

Opal froze. "Is that…?"

"Only one way to find out," Pearl said hesitantly as she hopped out of the van, Crystal following close behind while Opal chose to stay put.

Crystal lightly kicked the panther's body, eliciting no response. "Yep, that's him alright. Think he's dead?"

"He is  _so_ dead _,"_ Pearl replied, kicking him again.

"Should we tell RJ?"

"That we  _killed_ his prisoner? What do  _you_ think?"

"I think you should have, like, kept your eyes on the road."

Pearl narrowed her eyes. "Are you saying this is  _my_ fault?"

"One of us was driving and two of us weren't, sooooooo…"

"Screw you, I am  _so_ not going down for this!"

"Can you girls hurry it up? I am literally freezing to death in here!" Quickly losing interest in both the conversation and the body, Opal reached under the glove compartment for her dropped claw polish. "Now where did that thing go…?"

"Need a paw?"

"Huh?" She turned towards the open driver side door just in time to see Judy's fist flying at her face.

Oblivious, Pearl and Crystal continued staring at the body. "Maybe one of us should give him, like, CPR," Crystal suggested.

"Ew, not me, he is  _so_ not my type."

There was a loud bang behind them, the sound of Opal being forcefully kicked through the passenger side door. They were barely able to process this when the van suddenly revved up and came hurtling straight at them. The two vixens screamed and dove to opposite sides as it flew past, also missing the dead panther who was suddenly a lot less dead as he ran on all fours to catch up with it. He leapt into the vehicle through the passenger side door, then both doors slammed shut.

Pearl, Crystal, and a dazed Opal could only watch as the van tore off down the road and out of sight.

"So it's agreed?" Pearl asked. "Not telling RJ?"

"Like, no way..."

"Literally not saying a word."

"Uh…."

Three heads turned at once to a smaller, much more heavily dressed arctic fox in winter gear. He just stood there and stared, frozen mid-shovel as he cleared out a driveway, and had been for quite some time.

More importantly, he had a skidoo.

In a fraction of a second, the vixens closed the gap between them and practically wrapped themselves around the petrified male.

"Hey there, cutie. Like what you see?"

"We do too. Your ride, that is."

"Give it up or die."

They were going for seduction, but their hearts just weren't in it anymore.

* * *

Manchas groaned as he buckled himself into the driver's seat. Judy had no problem driving the large van, but steering was a different story. "You got  _way_ too much enjoyment out of that."

"I might have," Judy said, smiling. She hadn't stopped smiling for a while now. "The things you can do with a block of ice and a few bottles of ketchup..."

"You mean  _aside_ from staining perfectly good fur?" Manchas asked distastefully, already trying to lick himself clean while still keeping his eyes on the road. "Where did you learn that trick? The academy?"

"Would you believe a school play?"

"Based on your performance record, yes actually."

"I'll take that as a compliment," she said, still smiling. "Now, all we gotta do is make our way to Aurora Park."

"You say that like it'll be easy." Manchas grimaced, either from her comment or because he didn't particularly like ketchup.

"You heard those vixens, they won't tell RJ a thing. And the last place those guys will look for us is in one of their own vehicles. I don't want to speak too soon, but I think we're good to go."

* * *

RJ was getting restless, tapping his claws against the backseat of his limousine. The car was parked haphazardly in front of a lift station, accompanied by another black van. Any civilians around had cleared out at the sight of them, except for those who had the misfortune of getting off here.

"Where's the rabbit?" Raymond demanded, shaking down an old goat couple for info. They bleated helplessly in response.

"I don't think she's in league with the elderly, boys," RJ called out from an open window. "Come on, it shouldn't be taking this long. What about the next one?"

As the next lift came by, Raymond and Kevin ceased all niceties and grabbed the thing, yanking open the door and literally shaking its contents onto the ground. The only thing that came out was a collection of small objects that landed in Finnick's paw. "Hey, I think this is her phone! What's left of it anyway."

RJ's claws clenched. " _What?"_

Kevin peeked curiously into the empty car, instantly spotting another open door on the opposite side. "Uh, boss? I think they jumped."

Finnick let out a low whistle. "Wow, for such a meek little bunny, that's pretty ballsy."

RJ leaned back in his seat, thinking aloud. "She's more sly than I gave her credit for. Even I didn't predict she'd do that..."

"So  _now_  what?" Finnick asked. "They could be anywhere by now and we have no way of tracking them."

The taller fox smirked. "Actually...that's not entirely accurate. Remember those GPS trackers you thought were me being paranoid?"

He stared blankly. "You can't be serious."

In response, RJ pulled out his phone and flipped through it. "Hmm...according to the trackers, one of our vans stopped in place for a few minutes, then kept going without a word back to me."

"So what? Maybe they just pulled over to take a piss or something."

"It's the van I registered to the vixens."

"...Still."

RJ looked back at him, bemused. "Look, we can try calling the van and listen to them try to imitate their high-pitched, feminine voices, but while that would be pretty funny, it's just gonna warn them we're coming. So just get in the car and let's move out already."

Raymond and Kevin shrugged in unison and moved towards their van, but Finnick remained rooted to the spot, crossing his arms. "How about first you tell me how the heck you knew she was going to steal a van?"

He sighed impatiently. "I didn't  _know_ , Finn. It was just good intuition, reading between the lines, and being prepared. All qualities required of anyone who wants to name himself after the great Reynard."

"You talkin' about the myth or your dad now?"

"Does it matter?"

Finnick threw his arms up in a show of surrender. "Okay, fine, I'm coming! Just stop talking crazy!"

"Crazy like a fox?"

" _Any_ kind!" Finnick moved around to the front side and hopped in, readjusting himself in the driver's seat. Almost as soon as he put his paws on the wheel, his face shifted into a scowl. "I never paid up for our bet, did I?"

"No worries. Already took care of it." RJ smiled coyly, holding up a crisp twenty pinched between his fingers.

He didn't even bother checking his wallet to confirm. "Course' you did." Finnick put the car in drive and took off, followed closely by the black van. At this rate, the rabbit was going to cost him a lot more than money tonight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey look, a chapter that actually falls within the word count guidelines! (At least until I finish this author's note.) This one is about exposition mainly, getting more into the backstory of this scenario, with some fun character moments on top of it. The vixens are quickly topping my list of most fun to write and I kinda want to import them into my main fic now. Only one cameo this time, but it isn't exactly subtle.


	4. Rush Power

**RJ**

**Chapter IV: Rush Power**

**Written by Berserker88**

**Edited by Mind Jack & DrummerMax64**

**Cover art by SaittaMicus**

****

* * *

It took a few days to hear back from Fitwik. Those few days Judy spent in an endless cycle of irrational anxiety, self-reassurance, seeking comfort from Nick, then remembering that he was the reason she was stressed in the first place, rinse and repeat.

That was probably why Nick had suddenly become the perfect husband. He did all the cooking, all the cleaning, took care of the kits, even took over paperwork duty at the ZPD. Several officers had come to her asking if something was wrong with him, to which she could only answer honestly.

Of course, Nick taking over much of her duties only gave her less to distract herself from thoughts of PIXAR. Actually  _visiting_ the arcade was out of the question where it had once been a daily activity.

In short, by the time Fitwik called them back, both Nick and Judy looked like they had been through a war. "Are you guys okay?" he asked. "If you want, maybe we could postpone this until-"

"NO!" they shouted in unison.

"Okaaaaay then." He blinked a few times. "I guess PIXAR will be enough of a rest for your  _bodies,_ at least."

"So how did it turn out?" Judy asked hesitantly.

Stretching out in front of his computer desk, Fitwik brought up a set of data and started looking it over. "Almost perfect. PIXAR didn't have any problems reading from Nick's memory, perhaps because the system knows him so well already. From there, it was easy to build an accurate simulation."

Nick yawned. "Well, don't I feel honored?"

Judy was stuck on the first sentence. " _Almost_ perfect?"

"With a process like this, there's bound to be some bugs here and there," Fitwik answered quickly. "You know, gaps in Nick's memory, stuff he doesn't remember so clearly, or remembered wrong entirely. The code got a little weird with all the inconsistencies, but I went through and cleaned it all up. It was a snap." He even snapped his fingers for emphasis.

"As long as it's accurate," Nick said.

"And  _safe,_ " Judy added.

Fitwik sighed in exasperation. "Guys, I didn't build the  _Mootrix_  here. Even if you went and  _died_  inside PIXAR, it wouldn't do a thing to you in real life. I'm not an amateur."

"You're right," Judy admitted, despite wincing a little at the mental image of virtual death. "PIXAR has never let us down before, so I shouldn't be so hung up on it now. I'm sorry for doubting you."

"Thank you." He smiled warmly. "Now are you ready?"

"Am I ready to put my past behind me for good?" Nick asked, perking back up. "Yes, yes I am."

"Am I ready to be very grateful for how my husband turned out?" Judy joined in. "Yes, yes I am."

"Great!" Fitwik sauntered back to the curtain and pulled it open for them. "Then I will be happy to impress you yet again. Please take a seat, sir and madam."

"Don't milk it," Nick teased, sliding past him and into the seat as Judy hopped up next to him. As a custom-made simulation, their monitor displayed only a single option, and accessible only to them. "What does 'RJ' mean?"

"You don't know?" Judy asked. "Isn't this supposed to be from  _your_ memory?"

He shrugged. "Must be one of those inconsistencies."

"It was all over the code, so that's the designation I went with," Fitwik answered from outside. "Apparently, you go by 'Reynard Junior' in there. Uh...spoiler alert, I guess."

Nick's mood suddenly soured. "Wow. Don't know how bad of a mammal I am, but I sure have some bad  _taste._ "

Judy was quick to pick up on it. "What's wrong?"

"In short, I seem to have named myself after my late father." She stared blankly. "I'll explain later."

"Relax, I'm not going to judge you for anything that happens in there," Judy said, gripping his paw with her own. The irony that  _she_  was now the one reassuring  _him_ was not lost on her. "Just as long as  _this_ Nick is the one I wake up next to."

He smirked, leaning down to plant one last kiss on the top of her head. "Deal."

Leaning back in their seats, Nick and Judy pulled the helmets over their eyes and steeled themselves for what was to come. The last thing Judy heard before she went under was Nick's soothing voice.

"See you on the other side."

* * *

Manchas wasn't kidding; Aurora Park really  _was_ a considerable distance away, practically on the furthest reaches of Tundratown. Did Chief Bogo choose such a remote location to avoid causing a scene, or did he have less noble intentions? At this point, Judy almost didn't care now that a dangerous and clearly insane crime lord was gunning for her directly. If her parents caught wind of any of this, she had no doubt they would faint on the spot, lecture her, and forcibly drag her back to Bunnyburrow, hopefully in that order.

 _If RJ doesn't get to them first._ And thoughts like that  _really_ weren't helping. Make that a dangerous and clearly insane crime lord who already knew exactly who she was and where she came from. For better or for worse, there was no turning back now. She either had to put RJ away or live in fear of him for the rest of her, probably brief, life. There was no other option.

Still...there was something about this fox that disturbed her on an even deeper level, and it didn't take her long to figure out what it was. "Hey, Manchas?"

"Hmm?" The panther turned away from the window, to which he had been glancing out every few seconds for the past twenty minutes. At least she wasn't the only one on-edge here.

"You heard what that fennec fox said back in the mansion, right? About what happened to him and RJ during the Missing Mammal Case. From what you told me before, that kind of thing was going on all over the city, wasn't it?"

"Yes…" he said, in a tone that openly questioned where this conversation was heading.

Judy nodded solemnly. "I had no idea. Sure, the crisis was all over the news, but it was all about the prey side. The attacks, the fear, the calls for action. No one said anything about how much the  _predators_ were suffering."

"By Bellwether's design," Manchas reminded her.

"It doesn't matter. I still should've done something about it. When I vowed to make the world a better place, I meant  _all_ of it, not just my own kind. And yet, innocent predators were being oppressed and subjugated all around me while I was too busy wallowing in my own failures to even notice." She laughed humorlessly. "Some cop  _I_  would've turned out to be. Maybe if I'd been less obsessed with proving my own worth, none of this would've even happened."

"Wait, what are you saying?"

"I'm saying, what if this is  _my fault?_  If I had just been able to solve that case back then, an entire year of pain and suffering could've been avoided, countless lives could've been saved, and then maybe RJ... _Nick_ wouldn't have become such a monster. He might have even become a better mammal because of it." She looked at him, almost pleadingly. "How am I supposed to handle that?"

Manchas looked distinctly uncomfortable. Despite the looming danger, she half-expected him to throw himself from the vehicle any second. "I...don't think this is something you should be dwelling on now."

"Why not? I'm the one trying to blackmail my way back into the ZPD. I think it's pretty relevant to know if I even  _deserve_ it," she said stubbornly.

Once again failing to divert her, Manchas tried his best to reason. "You can't blame yourself for something you had no control over.  _No one_ on the ZPD could solve that case, remember?"

"Sure wasn't a problem for RJ though."

"RJ is...different," he argued, struggling to put words to his wisdom. "So  _what_  if you didn't find those missing mammals a year ago? You saved  _me,_ didn't you? And you're trying to save the city  _now._ I'd say you've more than proven your worth as a cop, Judy."

Her expression didn't change, but her ears betrayed her as they lifted back up again. Seeing this, she was forced to admit defeat. "I guess you have a point. Maybe when this is all said and done, I can talk to Chief Bogo about getting you a generous settlement. Or even a job if you're...wait a minute."

Judy's ears went rigid now as she stared suspiciously at the panther. "I never told you my first name."

He flinched, backing away as much as the seat would allow. "W-What? Of course you did! Don't be silly!"

Maybe he'd heard of her before this all started. Maybe he'd listened in on her conversation with RJ. But the fact that he gave her neither of those very plausible explanations only made her  _more_ suspicious. She couldn't afford to take chances anymore. "Manchas, I'm going to need you to explain  _exactly_ where you heard-"

The entire van was suddenly rocked by a violent impact, not unlike the one they'd caused to steal it in the first place. Judy's first, horrified thought was that she'd hit someone until she looked out the window.

No, someone had hit  _them._ Multiple someones, in fact.

Outside Mancha's window was an even larger van occupied by two familiar, and very ticked-off polar bears. "Raymond and Kevin!" he shouted.

Outside Judy's came a chorus of giggles both cute and somehow threatening. Sharing a single skidoo and waving cheerfully at her were Pearl, Opal, and Crystal. "The vixens!" she hissed.

To complete the set, a sleek, black limousine pulled up behind them. RJ popped out of the sun roof, wielding a megaphone. " _Hope everyone's hungry, because it is now officially Rabbit Season! I'm just being coy, by the way, don't actually eat her. Yet."_

Manchas was wide-eyed, gripping the wheel so tightly that his claws dug into the leather. "Don't suppose you have a plan for this?"

"Turn right."

"What?"

"Turn right!" Judy promptly grabbed the wheel and did it herself. The van careened to the right, directly towards the vixens and their skidoo. Their reflexes proved better than expected and they immediately braked out of the way, moving perfectly in sync with each other to keep the small vehicle balanced.

From his comfortable position in the limo, RJ could only smirk. "The prey tries to escape the net through the weakest knot. So predictable."

The van continued to veer to the right, enough that part of it was now driving on the sidewalk and scaring away local pedestrians. But then it abruptly reversed direction and flew back to the left, slamming into the bears' van with enough momentum to send it crashing into a building. Judy's van broke away and sped ahead, all of their pursuers now behind them.

RJ's smirk dampened only slightly. "You do know how to keep things interesting, Twitchy."

Meanwhile, Manchas was still trying to fight down the urge to tuck and roll out of here. "Didn't you used to be a meter maid?"

"Yes," Judy said, her gaze firm. "I  _used_ to be."

The bears were back on their tail in short order, but now they were stuck behind them. Still co-manning the wheel, Judy steered the vehicle back and forth, blocking their every attempt to pass. Their growls of frustration told her this was a good plan, which was very fortunate because it was the only one she had left. It was equally so that the roads weren't too busy today, as if the forecast had predicted a chance of car chases, leaving Judy a bit more room to maneuver. It might cause her some trouble getting into the ZPD later, but she chose to stay focused on living long enough to worry about that.

She was less able to keep the vixens at bay and their smaller and faster vehicle soon slipped past her, approaching from the right. "Incoming!" Manchas said fearfully.

Judy spared them only the briefest of glances, far more concerned with the giant van still harassing their bumper. " _Really?_  What are  _they_ going to do? Bat their eyelashes at us?"

Something whizzed through the space between her ears and embedded itself in the dashboard. It was a small, silver knife. Judy stared at it in shock. Manchas stared at  _her._  "Did...you not know that they're professional killers?"

The vixens' voices chorused outside.

"You are  _so_ gonna die tonight!"

"We'll, like, skin you alive and stuff!"

"You'll literally be pushing up daisies!"

"It would've been nice to know  _earlier,_ yes." Judy took the news remarkably well, probably because nothing else could surprise her at this point. It  _did_  alter her strategy, however, and she immediately steered the van back towards the vixens, hoping to scare them off again.

It worked, but not without consequence. They heard a sharp, puncturing sound followed by the van shuddering unnervingly. "I think they just took out one of our tires!" Manchas yelled. Which was another way of saying it had been pierced by three simultaneous throwing knives.

"Where are they even keeping those?!" Judy tried to reign in control of the vehicle as it began to swerve. It was this opening that finally allowed the other van to catch up, slamming into their left once again.

"Ju-Detective Hopps, help me!" Manchas cried out as he was suddenly jerked away from the wheel by a strong paw. Kevin had reached in and grabbed him by the scruff of his neck in a very feline fashion, already trying to pull him into their van.

Looking back on it, Judy felt a little bad about her instinctual first reaction. With one paw still on the wheel, she yanked the knife out of the dashboard and stabbed it into Kevin's arm. The bear roared in pain and withdrew his arm, but this only served to piss him off further. As he glared viciously at them, Judy and Manchas shot him sheepish grins in return.

"How's she doing up there?" RJ asked, casually typing into his phone.

"Well, she ain't dead yet, so okay I guess," said Finnick, craning his tiny neck to catch the action as best he could. "She won't stand a chance once the vixens get ahold of her though."

He looked up. "Yeah, about that, they  _did_ get the memo not to kill her, right?"

"I think so, but they're acting kinda…"

"Better make peace with your long-eared god!" Opal screamed.

"...aggressive."

RJ nodded. "Can't fault their determination."

"Pretty sure they're only determined to get some 'full-time benefits' if you catch my drift."

"Been there, tapped that."

" _Excuse_ me?" Finnick turned back to stare at him in disbelief. "When was  _this?!_ And more importantly, where was  _I?!"_

He wasn't even paying attention anymore. "Don't remember. Eyes on the road."

Grumbling obscenities under his breath, Finnick turned back to the action, where not much had happened in those few, missing seconds. Except for one thing. "Hey, where'd the girls go?"

Judy was confused too. One second, the knife-wielding vulpines were hot in pursuit. The next, they were gone. Not that she was disappointed, or even focusing on that with the bears still very much on the chase.

Clutching his wounded arm, Kevin could do little more than growl menacingly at them. Raymond, however, decided to be a little more direct. He turned the wheel and rammed into their van again, but he didn't stop there. Using its greater size, he continued to push the smaller vehicle until it was forced onto the sidewalk and then into the walls. Not only was the scraping sound it caused  _very_ unpleasant to Judy's ears, it also effectively trapped them between an almost-literal rock and a hard place.

That might not have been so bad had the vixens not chosen that moment to reappear. The skidoo emerged from an alleyway several blocks ahead of them and turned to face the van, the vixens all grinning sadistically as they charged.

The sight made Judy's blood run cold. "Are they insane?!" In a head-on collision, the van could very well be totaled, but that was nothing compared to what would happen to the skidoo and its occupants. Nevertheless, they didn't show any sign of slowing down. Chuckling darkly, the bears were more than happy to go along with this plan as they kept the van pinned against the walls.

Judy's brain went into panic mode, searching desperately for a solution. They could go neither left nor right and backwards was right out. That left only one, incredibly reckless, possibility. Staring straight ahead, she slammed her foot on the gas pedal.

Manchas had long been in panic mode himself as the van now began to speed up dangerously. "What are you doing?!"

"Not knowing when to quit."

The bears were so stunned they barely managed to keep up, while the vixens were only shocked for a second before continuing dauntlessly forward. Judy honestly wasn't sure  _where_ she was going with this, only that it felt marginally better than just rolling over and dying. Her only regret was dragging Manchas into this.

RJ threw a pawful of popcorn into his mouth. "Ooooooh, this is gonna be good!"

"Where did you get that?" Finnick asked, more confused than ever. And after tonight, that was saying something.

"I was hungry." RJ held the bag towards him. "Want some?"

Judy closed her eyes. It was too late to stop now even if she wanted to. Above her, Manchas took a deep breath and sighed in resignation. "Hold on."

She didn't get the chance to ask why. Manchas abruptly took hold of the wheel and turned hard to the right. She was certain that would result either in an immediate crash or nothing at all, so she was especially surprised to feel the van passing through empty air. Her eyes opened instantly to view their surroundings. They were on the road again...a different road.

Her ears shook from the force of a nearby explosion. Its source was unmistakable, yet nowhere in sight. "What...just...happened?"

"I spotted an opening to the right ahead," Manchas explained, panting from exertion. "I sped us through it onto the next road over."

"At  _that_ speed?" Judy asked skeptically.

He smiled. "I'm a professional driver for a reason."

* * *

Finnick's eyes practically bulged out of his head. "Wha-how-where did they  _go?!"_

RJ smiled faintly. "It's about time."

Judy's van had slipped away. The bears were not so lucky. When their prey suddenly veered to the right, they ended up doing the same, bringing them right into the path of the incoming skidoo. The giant van heaved and toppled over onto its side, the engine somewhere between "ruptured" and "blown to kingdom come". Raymond and Kevin slowly climbed out of the wreckage, charred and groaning. "They don't look too good," Finnick said, concerned. "Should we stop?"

RJ nodded rapidly. "Sure! Let's forget all about our target and go help two idiot henchmammals!" He stopped abruptly. "Actually, how about we  _don't_ do that? Keep going. We're still tracking them."

"Alright." Finnick steered the limo carefully around the toppled van and the scattered remains of the skidoo. "Those poor girls though...:"

"I wouldn't mourn them too soon." RJ smirked. "Do you  _see_ their bodies in there?"

* * *

Judy's heart rate was just starting to come back down to normal levels when her ears shot upwards. "Do you hear something?"

Manchas didn't, not until the voices started.

"How did we, like, get here?"

"Who cares? We have  _so_ got a job to do!

"Shush! You're literally gonna blow our cover!"

Judy wasn't sure if she should be worried or amazed. "Are they on the  _roof?"_ At least now their jousting tactic made sense, assuming they originally planned to leap to the bears' van. Whatever kind of sense  _any_ of this made, that is.

She naturally started to jostle the van around in hopes of shaking their stowaways, but they proved as clingy to vehicles as they were to random strangers. "See? They totally heard us!"

"You can keep the wheel," Judy said to Manchas as she hopped back to her own seat and readied herself as best she could.

Opal flung herself athletically through the window a moment later, scattering glass and brandishing a knife. "Round 2, skank!"

"Did you seriously just call  _me-?!"_ Judy dodged to the side as the knife flew over her head, only slightly nicking one of her ears. Wincing in pain, her leg lashed out to kick her in the chin.

To her surprise, she caught it. "Not gonna sucker punch me  _this_ time! Or kick. Whatever!"

Opal yanked her off her other foot and tried to stab the knife down into her. Only through rabbit reflexes did she manage to turn her head to the right in time to avoid it. The knife plunged into the leather seat and Judy's arm shot out to keep it there, twisting herself out of Opal's grip in the process and delivering that promised kick.

The vixen's head rocked against the windowsill. Judy took the chance to leap forward and land another, double kick to her abdomen. The force was enough to propel Opal through the door, out of the van, and into some poor fishermammal's daily haul.

"Ewwwww! I am literally covered in fish guts! Wait, I think I used that word wrong."

"One down." Judy let out a breath as she pulled the door closed. She wasn't about to relax yet though, not with two more deadly assassins still lurking above. With only slight hesitation, she grabbed Opal's dropped knife, hoping she wouldn't have to use it.

There was a loud knocking on the opposite window. Judy instantly whirled around, seeing a terrified Manchas and Crystal, waving to them cheerfully from outside. Judy felt two manicured paws grab her by the ears and realized, to her great shame, that the vixens had just outsmarted her.

The rabbit was pulled roughly out of the car and practically slammed onto the roof. Pearl was quick to confiscate her knife and step onto her chest to pin her down while Crystal took up position behind her. Manchas had noticeably slowed down now to avoid throwing her off, which unfortunately allowed the limo to catch up. "Heeeeeeey, RJ!" Crystal cooed, waving her arms to get his attention.

Not that he could possibly miss them. "You know, seeing them all up on the roof like that kinda makes me want to join them."

"Really?" Finnick asked.

"Heck no, that's dangerous!" He had no problem popping out of his sunroof again though. "Good job, girls! Just knock her out and bring me the kitty cat!"

"What'd he say?!" Pearl yelled over the roaring winds.

"I think it was, like, knife her out and get all killy with that!"

He used the megaphone this time. " _I_ said _, knock her out and bring me the cat!"_

"Cave her skull in and disembowel the cat? Got it!"

Judy would have found it terribly ironic to die as a result of poor hearing, so this distraction was very welcomed. She reached up and grabbed ahold of Pearl's ankle, throwing the vixen off, then sprung to her feet and swept Crystal's legs out from under her. In the process, she snatched yet another knife out of the air, idly wondering if she'd taken one from all three sisters now.

RJ sighed, falling back into his seat. "I'm starting to think we should've just hired that bat. She was affordable, efficient, even cleans up her own blood splatter. That's what I get for being suckered into a three-for-one deal."

"She wasn't as cute though."

"Well  _duh."_

Amazingly, both vixens maintained their balance, better than Judy could at this point. They sprung forward almost in tandem, swiping at her with their blades. Judy deflected both attacks with her own and turned the knife to catch theirs as they pressed the attack. Pushing back hard with her hind legs, Judy managed to shove them away again. She could be doing worse, but her lack of experience with a knife, and with standing on a moving vehicle, was going to get her killed sooner rather than later.

She scooted around to the front of the van, considering just jumping back in...if she could. Pearl laughed. "Aww, what's wrong? Is the cute widdle bunny gonna hop away?"

Judy kicked off the roof...and into her face. Perhaps she was a bit too sensitive to that word for her own good, but the sheer kinetic energy from  _that_ movement in  _this_ circumstance made her headbutt hit a lot harder than it had any right to. Pearl staggered back, nearly going over the side, but just barely managing to hold on.

The same could not be said for Crystal, who happened to be behind her. The vixen squealed as she flew backwards and landed on the limo's windshield, cracking it. Finnick whistled appreciatively. "Wow, what a view!"

"Eyes on the road, Finn," RJ reminded him.

"Dang. Sorry, girl."

"It's...like...no biggie…" It still took a moment for the windshield wipers to shove her off.

Pearl looked back, just now realizing that she was alone. Her fangs bared dangerously. "You are  _so_ gonna pay for that!"

But she was indeed alone, no bunny in sight. "Wait, whaaaaaaaaat?"

Back inside the van, Judy almost casually slammed on the brakes.

Pearl's scream echoed across Tundratown. The vixen spun through the air, flipped over a few times, and finally crashed face first through a billboard advertising "Shiverman's Bail Bonds". An image of a muscular arctic fox getting his mugshot taken now had a new, very disproportionate head. Many kits were scarred that day.

The limo didn't have much luck either, the sudden stop causing it to slam into the back of the van. "Hey, stop wrecking our ride!" Finnick yelled after them as it took off again. Snarling in fury, he stepped on the gas and chased after them.

Judy couldn't help but laugh. "Now  _that_ felt good! Are we almost there, Manchas?"

She turned to the panther, who had been shaking like a leaf pretty much ever since Judy got grabbed. He pointed a shaky finger forward, towards a tacky sign that read, "Aurora Park: The Icy Retreat to Melt Your Heart!"

"Okay, good!"

Finnick saw the sign as well, beginning to lose his bluster. "Is that where they're heading? We're not driving into a police ambush, are we?"

"Don't worry about that," RJ said with his usual, infuriating confidence. "Just activate the grappling hook."

Finnick grit his teeth. "We don't  _have_ a grappling hook."

He pointed at the console. "Then explain the grappling hook button."

"I think I would've noticed a..." Finnick looked down, dumbfounded at the sight of a big, red button in front of him. "...grappling hook button."

"Told you so."

"When did you install this?"

"Before."

"And is there a  _reason_ you keep responding to my questions with complete non-answers?"

"Yes."

He nearly slammed his head against the steering wheel in frustration. "...I'll just press the button now."

"Please do."

A small slot opened in the front of the limousine and out came a grappling hook, snagging onto the back of the van's bumper. The end result was the limo essentially being pulled along for the ride as it passed under a large, overhanging gate that marked the entrance to Aurora Park.

"I think we have a problem," Manchas said, taking note of their new passengers.

Judy glanced back, with a raised eyebrow. "Doesn't seem so bad to  _me._ Now we're just dragging RJ straight to the cops with us."

"Sure, but what about  _that?"_

RJ had popped out of the limo once again, but this time he was carrying something significantly more dangerous than a megaphone. "I've always wanted one of these," the fox said, shutting one eye as he leveled an RPG at the back of his now captive target.

"Okay, I  _know_ we didn't bring that!" Finnick was barely audible over the winds and what Judy was pretty sure was her own, hammering heartbeat.

 _But we're so close! No way am I giving up now!_ As they entered the park, a circular walkway greeted them, with trees and benches surrounding a water fountain that appeared to be intentionally frozen into a heart-like shape.

 _That'll have to do._ As they began to circle the fountain, Judy turned the wheel as hard as she could. Instead of continuing past the fountain, the van took a sharp bank all the way around it, back to where it started.

And where the limo was currently.

The van plowed hard into the limo's side, detaching the hook and sending the car spinning in circles across the icy field until it finally crashed into a tree. The resulting impact shook several pounds of snow from the treetops that covered the vehicle, and RJ, in a blanket of white. The fox's eyes poked out from his new snow casing, watching the van speed past them to freedom. "Welp. I had a good time. How about you, Finn?"

Finnick groaned through the air bag enveloping his face. "Could be better."

* * *

It was a shame they couldn't enjoy the scenery more. Judy had to admit, Aurora Park was a very nice place. Tall trees, glistening snow, tranquil lakes, and a perfect view of the sky that showed off the stars. There was even a special lighting effect added to cast an image of the park's namesake across the sky. Cheesy, but romantic. She could already see a young couple here and there just bathing in each other's company, completely oblivious to the chaos that had ensued just outside.

She tried not to let it bother her. A significant other was just one of many sacrifices she'd had to make to get this far. Instead, she prepared herself for what truly mattered: the meeting with the ZPD. Once all this RJ business was dealt with, then she could finally relax a bit. But  _only_ for a bit. Zootopia still needed protecting, after all.

"There's the pickup squad!" she said excitedly, pointing out a Precinct 1 patrol car concealed under the shade of a tree. They were coming into a forested clearing, one devoid of any other passerby, making for the perfect rendezvous point. She pulled over to the side and hopped out. "Let's go say hi, Manchas." The panther didn't say a word as he followed after her.

As soon as they began to approach, two officers emerged from the car, a white wolf and a polar bear who Judy recognized from the brief time she'd worked in Precinct 1. The wolf stepped forward and introduced himself. "I'm Officer Fangmeyer and this is Officer Grizzoli." The bear just nodded in greeting. "It's good to see you again, Judy." He exchanged his paw to shake hers.

"Likewise!" She shook the wolf's paw energetically. "Let me tell you, it has been one crazy night. Oh! This is the witness I mentioned, Mr. Manchas." She gestured to the feline, who was still keeping his distance. "He was being held captive and tortured by RJ. Trust me, he's got a  _lot_ of information on him."

Grizzoli nodded again. "Good to hear. Then let's get you both back to the precinct." He opened the back seat of the car for them.

Judy almost jumped right in, but Manchas still had not budged. "Come on, it's okay. They're friends."

Manchas remained where he was, his gaze steeled at the two officers. "Then what was her first assignment?"

"What?" Fangmeyer asked, caught off-guard.

"I know it's been a while, but if you're really her friends, then you should at least know her background. What was her first assignment?"

"Manchas, that's really not necessary," Judy said quickly. "I'm sorry, guys, he's just a little skittish after being captured like that. You can go ahead and tell him if it'll make him feel better."

But the officers did not respond. Judy turned around to make sure they'd heard, only to find a ZPD tranq pistol pointed at her. "You're under arrest," the wolf said coldly. The bear cracked his knuckles.

Judy took a step back, unsure how to even react. Manchas merely growled. "I knew it. He cheated."

On cue, RJ's limo pulled up behind them, now with a giant dent in its side. The fox stepped out slowly, giving his best of slow, sarcastic claps. "Long time, no see, Twitchy. I guess 'Operation: Trojan Oates' didn't go so well, but I can't argue with the results." He shot a thumbs up at the wolf. "Good work on the quick draw, 'Officer Grizzoli'."

The wolf tilted his head in confusion. "Wait, I thought I was supposed to be Fangmeyer."

"What? No, Fangmeyer is a  _tigress_. Don't know how you mixed  _that_ up."

"Then who am I?" Not-Grizzoli asked.

"You're the guy who's not gonna get that raise I promised you unless you get these perps in some cuffs."

Judy grunted as she was shoved to the ground and placed in pawcuffs. False Fangmeyer then walked over and did the same to Manchas, who had spent this entire exchange glaring daggers at RJ.

The fox finally picked up on it. "What's that look for, Sour Puss? Don't tell me  _you_ of all mammals are surprised by this. I'm just doing my job, right?"

"Where's the real officers?" Judy asked, glaring up at him as well.

"They turned tail and aborted the mission as soon as they saw a bunch of my guys starting to move around this place. Didn't you get a call about that?" He slapped his forehead comically. "Oh right, the dumb bunny went and destroyed her phone! I bet Chief Bogo wouldn't approve of such a reckless decision, but hey, it's not like he was expecting much from you anyway."

"This isn't over!" she growled, as threateningly as she could manage from her position.

"Not until I get that password, no," he replied, idly checking his claws. "Don't suppose you guys wanna save me the trouble of dragging you all the way back to the compound?"

"If you couldn't get it before, I don't think your chances are any better now. I'll do everything I can to make sure you never see the inside of that vault!"

RJ's smug demeanor vanished, but not because he was especially impressed by her courage. Rather, he was so completely baffled that it just took him a second to register it. "Oh wow. Oh  _wow._ Is  _that_ what you think this is about?" He shook his head, his expression somewhere between amusement and pity. "Now I kinda feel bad. This is like playing Blackjack against someone who thinks it's Go Fish. But to be fair, the deck was pretty stacked in my favor to begin with."

Dread began to well within Judy's chest again. What  _was_ it about this guy that let him rattle her so easily? "What are you talking about?"

"I couldn't care less about some stupid vault, Twitchy. The only one who knew  _that_ password was Koslov and I offed him pretty much immediately." His steely gaze turned to Manchas. "Your new friend here has one that's  _much_ more valuable, isn't that right?"

Manchas looked away, refusing to meet her eyes. So he really  _had_ lied to her. Not just that, he'd never explained how he knew her name, or for that matter, her first assignment in the ZPD. If this was how their journey was going to end, she'd never get  _any_ of the answers she was looking for, right back to square one as if she'd never left her cushy little office in the first place.

 _Unacceptable._ While everyone was looking at Manchas, Judy managed to shift her cuffed arms from the back of her head to the front. She wasn't sure what she would do  _after_ that, but the polar bear made that decision for her. Roaring in surprise, he attempted to stomp her back into the ground. Judy rolled to the side, hooking her chained wrists around the bear's ankle and pulling tight.

"And now  _this_ is happening again," RJ said, more bored than concerned about this literal chain of events. He looked pointedly at Finnick, who groaned in derision as he finally got out of the car.

The bear was too late to stop his forward movement, losing his balance and falling like a log towards his lupine partner. The wolf screamed in terror and reflexively fired a tranq dart into him, which didn't stop him from getting flattened under the massive bulk anyway, except now they were  _both_ out of commission. Judy rubbed at her wrists, the bear's weight proving more than enough to break the chain and free them. "By the way, the answer was 'parking duty'. Looks like I still have a knack for it."

"You also have a knack for losing focus." A feline yowl brought her attention back to Manchas, who was now in a sitting position with RJ's arm firmly around his chest. His other arm held a very special pen to his throat, its blade fully extended and eager to draw more blood. "Now, about that password…"

Judy's ear twitched and she dodged away from Finnick as he lunged for her. Seeing the wolf's dropped tranq pistol, she quickly kicked it up into her paw and then wrapped her own arm around Finnick's neck, pointing the gun to the side of his head. "Now, about your surrender…"

RJ grinned widely, not exactly the reaction she was expecting. "Oh ho, a Mexicown standoff! Glad to see you still fighting until the end, Twitchy."

Finnick scoffed. "You're tryin' to threaten me with a  _tranq gun?"_

"A dart from this gun just took down a polar bear. What do you think it's going to do to a  _fennec fox?"_ Judy answered in kind.

"I  _may_ have gone a little overboard on the formula," RJ admitted.

Finnick's face fell. "Nick, do something."

"RJ."

" _Whoever you are,_ do something!"

"I wouldn't worry." And indeed, he didn't look worried at all, as per usual. "She talks a big game, but I don't think she has it in her to pull that trigger."

Judy forced herself to stand her ground, mainly because it was the only ground she had left. "You forget that only one of us explicitly needs our hostage alive. I don't think  _you're_ going to kill him either."

"Good point. Or at least it  _would_ be, except that you clearly don't know me as well as I know you." He brought the knife just a little bit closer to the panther's neck. "Go ahead and shoot if you have the guts."

" _What?!"_ Finnick shouted, trying to break free. Judy stepped on his back and pulled him in closer, if only out of necessity. "Is this part of some big gambit of yours or have you completely lost your mind?!"

"Neither. It's just that anything that happens right now, outside of getting that password, means nothing to me. That's all."

He said it so casually that both Judy and Finnick were speechless. "How could you  _say_ that?" Judy finally asked.

"I get it now…" Finnick muttered, so low even she barely heard him. "I knew there was something  _off_ about you, ever since you took over. At first, I thought it was just the power getting to your head or something. That's why I just sat back and watched you do whatever you wanted,  _kill_ whoever you wanted, turned a blind eye to all the weirdness that seems to follow you around. But now I understand." He glared accusingly at RJ, filled with more rage than ever, but showing much less. "You ain't Nick."

"How many times do I have to tell you?" He stared back, smiling in the most  _non-_ mammalian fashion she'd ever seen. "I'm  _RJ."_

Without warning, Finnick broke out of Judy's grip, stumbling away with a choked gasp. It was a strange reaction to be sure. She'd half-expected him to attack RJ after what he just heard.

Then she saw the dart in his neck.

Somehow, her gun had just fired, completely without her input. But that was impossible...right?

Finnick didn't seem to think so, for even in his final moments, his eyes never left RJ. "Should've...bitten...your damn face off…" Then he collapsed into the snow, never to move again.

RJ was not moved at all. "Yikes. Hate to see that happen. Your trigger finger get too itchy, Twitchy?"

She wasted no time in leveling the gun back at him, despite the clear risks in doing so. "What is  _wrong_ with you?! He was your friend!"

"No, no he wasn't. He was an insulting mockery of a friend, albeit a fairly accurate one. Though that  _does_ raise the question…" He shifted the pen knife so that it was no longer pressed against Manchas' throat; now it was pointing at it, able to easily stab him if he so much as sneezed. "...if I'm so callous about  _my_ friend, just what do you think I'm capable of doing to  _yours?"_

"Ju...dy…" the panther gasped out.

"Doesn't sound like he's doing too well," RJ noted. "So, if you please... _tell me the password."_

Judy's arms began to shake. She couldn't take the shot, but she couldn't protect Manchas any other way either. "I don't  _know_ the password! He never told me!"

"I'm sure he didn't, given his obvious propensity for secrets." He patted the feline's head, almost playfully. "But you still know it. In fact, I wager you're now the only one who  _does."_

She wasn't sure if she was more confused or frightened. "That...doesn't make any sense." So then why did Manchas look so panicked?

"Don't care. Tell me the password."

"I don't know it!"

"I'm not screwing around here, Twitchy."

She was in the verge of tears. "Please...just let him go."

"Better talk fast, I think my paw's slipping..."

"I...I can't…"

"Alrighty, have it your way." RJ pulled the knife away...and drove it back towards him.

" _FuzzLightyear88!"_

Judy froze, nearly dropping the gun. Where on Earth had  _that_ come from?

RJ froze as well, once again just barely missing feline flesh. But Manchas did not look pleased by this. More like horrified. "No!"

" _Really?_ A pop-culture reference  _and_ repeating numbers? Are you  _sure_ you're not an amateur?" RJ retracted the pen's blade and stuck it back into his pocket, then roughly shoved the panther to the ground.

Even with so many questions racing through her mind, Judy didn't let this opportunity go. She immediately raised the tranq pistol and fired at RJ, not sure if she cared anymore that it could kill him.

It didn't matter anyway. Before the shot had even left the chamber, RJ was already sprinting back towards his limo. The fox threw himself over the hood as a second shot bounced off of it. "Hey now, if you wanna get mad at someone, how about the someone who's been  _lying to you_ this entire time?"

Without thinking, Judy looked back at the panther still sprawled helplessly in the snow, completely lost for a course of action.

That brief diversion was all it took for RJ to hop into the driver's seat and start the car. "As for me, I've got places to be! See you on the other side!" The limo swerved around in a circle and took off, leaving both of them behind in a matter of seconds.

But RJ was right about one thing: both he  _and_ her supposed friend knew more than they were letting on, and if she was going to do anything about it, then it was about time she got some answers.

Judy holstered the gun and advanced on the panther, a deadly gleam in her eye. "I'm going to ask you again, and this time, I expect an  _honest_ answer. How do you know so much about me?"

He looked left, then right, anywhere at all other than directly at her, but Judy did not waver. Finally, he relented. "I know because...I am Martin Fitwik, inventor of the PIXAR machine."

_...And the questions just keep piling._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So remember when I said that I wanted to do something different with this What If? Well, I wasn't just talking about the main premise. In the process of planning out this idea, I started to realize that I could have some real fun with the whole virtual world concept this entire collaboration takes place in, which also happened to fit in nicely with that "Evil Nick" idea I had. It also served as a convenient way to remove the safety net of "It's just a simulation and nothing that happens in it could possibly have ramifications in the real world". Thus, the insanity you see before you was born, and it's not even done yet!
> 
> The many questions from this chapter will be answered in the finale, but just to clarify something you might be confused about now (like, more than expected), Virtual Fitwik never actually looked or sounded any different than he does in the real world, aside from having the crap beaten out of him. If you've been picturing Manchas' distinct accent coming from him, that's purely because he introduced himself as Manchas and this Judy, not knowing either of them, just took his word for it. (Note that no other character ever once calls him Manchas.) Rule of Perception can be mean sometimes, huh? ;)
> 
> Oh, and if you're wondering about that whole Fangmeyer/Grizzoli confusion, that's in reference to a problem a few of us authors faced back when we started writing stories before Disney settled on names for all the background officers. Yes, Fangmeyer used to be a (male) white wolf, and as far as my canon is concerned, he still is, dammit! #FangmeyerGate #StillBitter
> 
> Only one more chapter left to go, and if I can promise you anything, it's going to be the most action-packed and wholly-bizarre of them all. Hope you enjoy! :P


	5. RJ

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Everything you are about to see has been approved and verified by Cimar himself as something that is possible within the world of PIXAR. In fact, some of it was his idea. I tell you this now because shit's gonna get weird. Just a heads up.
> 
> PS: Should I be concerned that both of my What Ifs have warranted a disclaimer?

**RJ**

**Chapter V: RJ**

**Written by RJ**

**Edited by RJ & RJ**

**Cover art by RJ**

****

 

* * *

Fitwik wiped his brow and looked over the code. So far, so good. As good as could be expected anyway. At this point, it was more like so far, not worse.

Lifting a cup to his lips, the panther gulped down a large sip of coffee. It wasn't his first cup tonight and it probably wouldn't be his last. Was that why he felt so jittery or was that just the normal response for someone in his position? Either way, he was grateful to have it. If he fell asleep now, he was pretty sure that whatever nightmares he had would pale in comparison to what he'd wake up to. The current setting wasn't helping matters, just sitting here in the dark, typing away at the soft glow of a computer screen, without so much as anyone to keep him company.

No one  _awake_ at least, which also wasn't doing his drowsiness any favors. He couldn't help but look, once again, at the unconscious forms of Nick and Judy sitting across from him. It felt somehow insulting to hide them behind the curtain. Besides, he could use the constant reminder of his own failure. It kept him motivated when all he really wanted to do was collapse onto his keyboard and pray for a miracle.

His phone rang. This was decidedly  _not_ the miracle he was looking for. In fact, it was more like a harbinger of doom since the only ones likely to be calling him right now were either friends, family, or the ZPD.

He glanced down at the number. ZPD. He was almost tempted to ignore it, as it  _was_ technically long past closing time, but then he realized that they weren't calling the work phone. Someone was going through an awful lot of effort to call  _him_ specifically. He took another sip of coffee, knowing he was going to need it, and picked up. "...Hello?"

" _Is this Martin Fitwik?"_

And it wasn't just any old ZPD officer either. "Chief Bogo! How good to hear from you! What can I do for you, sir?" He smiled as widely and innocently as he could, as if the police chief were able to see him.

" _Stop smiling like that, I can practically_ hear  _it. Anyway, I know it's late, but I just wanted to ask if you've seen Hopps and Wilde. The bunny's folks keep calling me, saying that their kitsitter keeps calling_ them _, saying that they can't get in touch with them at home, like I'm supposed to be the arbiter of their lives or something. I get that your arcade's closed and you're probably nowhere near it, but they spend a lot of time there, so can you give me any clues before I have to start running damage control?"_

About a dozen different lies crossed through his mind at the same time. He wasn't brave enough to use any of them on the chief of the ZPD. "Actually...I'm still at the arcade, sir. And so are they."

" _Perfect! Put them on the line!"_

"Uh...they're in a simulation right now…"

" _Then yank 'em out! They've got responsibilities at home to take care of! Like getting concerned parents off my back!"_

Fitwik chuckled nervously, tugging at his collar. He looked back at Nick and Judy. "Well, the thing is...I sort of  _can't."_

" _Excuse me?"_

This was going to be a  _long_ night.

* * *

"So let me get this straight: The entire world around us is all part of an elaborate virtual reality program known as PIXAR, Nick and I are just avatars of our real selves with false memories, and everything I've ever known and loved is a lie."

"That...about covers it, yes."

It was hard to concentrate over the police sirens blaring from their new stolen vehicle. The irony was irritating, but it did a much better job of getting them through traffic quickly. Not that getting into the ZPD mattered much to her anymore, if  _anything_ even mattered anymore. She felt like she should be more shaken by this. All of the bombshells dropped on her already must have hardened her defenses.

Denial was always the first though. "Do you honestly expect me to believe  _any_ of that?"

Manchas...well, he wasn't really Manchas according to him. He technically wasn't Martin Fitwik either. But whoever he was, he kept his eyes forward and focused, the complete opposite of his cowardly self from before. "I would be surprised if you did. Questioning the entire foundation of your existence is usually something that mammals find...unsettling. Unfortunately, we  _really_ don't have the time to argue about it. We need to catch up to RJ before it's too late."

"Be thankful you convinced me to talk and drive." He sadly made a good point though. This story was far less believable than the lies he'd fed her before, which made the sheer absurdity of it almost more convincing, but that's what he was sticking with so she didn't have much of a choice but to go along with it. "Fine. I'll roll with it for now, but  _only_ if you keep answering my questions. Consider that the protocol."

He nodded in understanding, with a hint of relief. "I'm sure you have plenty. Shoot."

The panther was being so forthcoming now it was almost scary. "First of all, if this  _is_ just some simulation, what on Earth are we supposed to be simulating?"

"It was Nick's idea actually. He wanted to explore a scenario where you never influenced his life and he became irredeemably evil."

 _So my absence really_ did  _change him._ She wasn't sure if that just being simulated made her feel better or worse. "Why...would anyone want to do that?"

"Now  _that_ I can't answer, mainly because I don't really get it myself." He shot her a knowing smile. "Neither did you, to be fair. Your husband's just kind of an idiot sometimes."

" _HUSBAND?!"_

No amount of defenses could have prepared her for  _that._

* * *

"Ooooooooh, baby, baby, it's a Wilde world! Na na na na na! It's hard to get by...when you're gonna die, WOAH!"

RJ slammed on the brakes, just barely turning and maneuvering the limo into a parking lot as it screeched to a halt. Even  _he_ hadn't expected to get from the dredges of Tundratown to the middle of Savannah Central that quickly. Perhaps he'd tweaked this thing a bit  _too_ much. RJ stepped out of the limo and looked back at the hot rod stripes and literal rocket engine now attached to it.  _Naaaaaaaah!_

The sound of distant police sirens made him rethink that. For all the speed he'd managed to output, he wasn't exactly subtle about it. Probably best to get a move on. RJ shielded his eyes and looked up at the seemingly dilapidated building in front of him, its windows boarded, its walls faded, and with a giant "Condemned" sign slapped over the door. It was almost as big as the sign that hung over it all, just barely legible.

Fitwik's Arcade

"Nice security," he snorted. "But you're not hustling  _me_ that easily." He extended his paw towards the sealed door and oh-so-gently clenched it.

The boards exploded off of the surface, the door swung open, and a shiny red carpet rolled out to welcome him. "I have to admit, a part of me is going to miss this."

Whistling cheerfully to himself, RJ headed inside.

* * *

Judy needed a few moments to calm down enough to ask another question. "Okay...I'll keep assuming this is all true for now, no matter  _how_ much I wish it wasn't. Next question. If RJ is really just Nick with alternate memories, then why is he doing any of this? That vault story was just a load of crock you fed me, right?"

"Not entirely. That's what the story was  _supposed_ to be, except you were going to rescue this polar bear named Koslov. See, your goal was to get him to the ZPD, RJ's goal was to stop you, and whoever succeeded would be the 'winner'."

"Good to know this is  _literally_ just a game to you," she said dryly.

His eyes narrowed. "It's not anymore. RJ changed the script. He murdered Koslov and snatched  _me_ instead. Probably confused the heck out of his henchmammals too."

"But for what purpose? What  _is_ he?"

"He's exactly what he was designed to be: Nick's darkest impulses brought to life. He was given false memories, appropriate resources, a role to play out, all to give Nick the authentic experience he wanted. It all seemed normal at first."

"So what went wrong?"

"It was  _too_ authentic," he said grimly. "Whatever repressed darkness Nick kept locked away in his mind, it got loose, and PIXAR gave it form. And since this entire simulation was constructed to give power to that darkness...it took over. Suppressed the real Nick's consciousness entirely. Because of that, RJ has access to all of his memories. Because of  _that,_ he knows about PIXAR." Even for her remarkable patience so far, Judy's blank expression told him exactly how much of that she understood. "In short, he's become what every programmer fears most: a rogue AI."

"Alright." She pinched her brow. "That's how he became self-aware. Then all that weird stuff he can do is…"

"You ever had a lucid dream?" he asked. "It's sort of like that. Once you realize you  _are_ dreaming, you can enact some degree of control over it, especially when it's built specifically to cater to you like it is for RJ. His control is limited to that which he can see and interact with, but still very dangerous. And getting stronger."

"You don't need to tell  _me_ that," Judy said, shuddering at the memory of her own tranq pistol shooting Finnick dead. It was only for the sake of pragmatism that she still had it on her. "I can't believe he had the nerve to act so familiar with me…"

"It's no act. He has access to Nick's memories, so like it or not, RJ knows you like the back of his paw, Judy. That's how he's been able to so effectively predict everything you do and everywhere you go, calculating it all like the scheming machine he is. I only wish I had figured it out sooner."

She paused. "Then he knows we're coming."

"Without a doubt."

Taking a deep breath, Judy tried to keep herself calm. Prey instincts could be really inconvenient sometimes. "At least he has limits. Last thing we need is him growing fifty feet tall and breathing fire or something."

"Nah, that would be way too unwieldy. I don't think he'll take the risk." She gaped at him. "...I mean, of course he can't do that. That's impossible."

She kept gaping.

* * *

This was a very surreal experience, RJ thought, as if he were returning home for a reunion with his long-lost parents. Except that he never technically  _had_  parents, just stolen memories of parents, yet with a clearer recollection than the real Nick could ever provide. And since he had come from Nick, did that mean he had also come from Nick's parents by extension? Why else would he name himself after his fake father? It just seemed natural at the time. Did that mean Nick would have done the same under those parameters? His programming told him yes, but that meant nothing to him. Come to think of it...did that make  _Nick_ his parent? Fitwik? PIXAR? Or maybe it was society itself, which created the developments that formed this aspect of Nick's personality and buried it until just the right time when he could truly be "born".

RJ slapped himself. "Phew! Derailing  _that_ train of thought now. Talk about messy. Or is that just the decor?"

As it turned out, the arcade's cover as a run-down piece of crap wasn't just a cover. It looked just as bad on the inside, to the point that he couldn't so much as read the labels on the dead arcade cabinets that surrounded him. He brushed a finger slowly up one's side, covering it in a fine layer of dust. "Disgraceful. Yet somehow appropriate."

There was only  _one_ machine in here that truly mattered, and by no coincidence, it was the only one that actually worked. If it didn't, they'd  _all_ be in trouble. RJ stepped up to the red curtains, pulling them aside dramatically. The PIXAR machine was as beautiful as he remembered. Or...didn't remember. Technically speaking, he'd never seen it before, but had also seen it a hundred times over.

He slapped himself again. "Focus, RJ. You have work to do."

* * *

Even in her intense thought, Judy soon noticed the warmer climate. She looked out the window, watching Tundratown disappear behind them as they entered Savannah Central. "Are you sure he went this way?"

"Positive," said Fitwik without hesitation. "Now that he has the password, there's only one place he  _would_ go."

Judy stared at him for a few seconds, waiting to see if he would continue. He did not. "Do...I really have to ask?"

"Sorry, I thought that was the protocol. You ask questions, I answer them."

She couldn't tell if he was being a smartass or not. "Where are we heading?"

"PIXAR."

She still couldn't tell. "But...I thought you said…"

"It's complicated," he said, ironically the most straight-forward he'd been yet. "Think of it as a sort of internal control center. It's my job to oversee it and make sure nothing goes wrong...which worked great until I got kidnapped."

She raised an eyebrow. "Uh huh. Just to play devil's advocate here, if you're supposed to be this central internal overseer, why can't  _you_ stop RJ?"

"The real Fitwik didn't give me too much power. He was worried a double of himself might go rogue and try to take over the system or something." He chuckled. "It's kinda funny when you think about it."

"Hilarious." She didn't even smirk. "What about  _him_ then?"

"Well…"

* * *

" _What do you_ mean  _you can't get in?!"_ Bogo yelled.

The phone was on speaker, thankfully for Fitwik's ears as it was loud enough to shake the desk. He kept himself typing away if only to make it sound like he was making progress. "I, uh, seem to have been locked out of the system. It's a security measure I set up in case of an external intrusion, preventing any further action until the simulation can be completed."

" _You mean someone's trying to hack in?"_

"No, I mean there's an  _internal_ intrusion that seems to have tripped the same flags." He began to sweat. "Which basically means there's a malicious AI on the loose and I can't do anything to stop it."

" _You don't have any measures for_ that?!"

He began to sweat  _profusely._ "I added an AI of myself into the system to fix these kind of issues, but he seems to have been displaced...and I  _may_  have intentionally nerfed his ability to fight back."

" _Then just shut the whole thing down and pull them out!"_

He began to sweat more than was probably healthy. "I can't do that either. Under the current circumstances, there's a good chance that could cause one or both of them to go comatose. Or worse."

" _So what you're saying is that you literally created an exact duplicate of yourself and yet neither one of you can do anything to fix this?"_

"That would be accurate, sir."

There was a long pause, the silence broken only by constant typing, until, " _What kind of degree do you have again?"_

* * *

"What kind of degree do you have again?" Judy asked.

"I was just trying to entertain people, give me a break!" Fitwik huffed. "Besides, I can still do  _some_ stuff. I just have to be in life-threatening danger first."

"Like the entire time we've been together?"

"More direct. Like, when we were about to crash into the vixens and I clipped us through a few buildings. That was pretty cool, right? Except it didn't really help against RJ since I knew he needed me alive, so even when he was holding me at knifepoint, I…" He noticed the look on her face. "...am not helping my case, am I?"

She shook her head.

"Okay, I screwed up!" he admitted. "This whole project went on so well for so long that I got cocky! I took a risk with something new and untested and now I'm paying for it!" He slumped over onto the wheel, his eyes just barely seeing over it.

Judy wasn't sure how to react, so she just did what came naturally, reaching out and putting a paw on his shoulder. "Hey now, it's okay. I mean, technically it wasn't  _you_ who did all that anyway, right?"

"It might as well be. Either way, the name 'Martin Fitwik' is going down in infamy after this. I can see the headline now:  _Local Arcade Owner Finds Fatal Bug In System. Fatal Because It Kills People. Oops!_

"I'm not going to let that happen," Judy said firmly. "I'll stop RJ from taking over the system, I promise."

Fitwik smiled a bit in appreciation, but it quickly faded. "He doesn't want to take over the system. He wants to  _escape_ it."

Judy's heart plummeted in her chest. "...Is that even possible?"

Just like that, Fitwik picked himself back up, lost in explanation. "It is. He can upload his avatar into a compatible, organic body, overriding their neural signals and deleting the excess."

"In other words?" she asked, dreading the answer.

"He's going to hijack Nick's body.  _Permanently."_

* * *

If visiting PIXAR was like meeting a parent, hacking into it was like sticking a paw in the cookie jar. RJ was amazed at just how easily it came to him, pulling up the system and navigating a few boot menus until he came to what he was looking for: the administrator functions. A window popped up, asking for credentials that he easily provided.

ID: Administrator

Pass: FuzzLightyear88

He had to wonder how quickly he could've figured out this lame password just by brute-forcing it. Probably not quickly enough to avoid drawing Martini Prime's suspicion, but that wouldn't have been nearly as much fun anyway. A few more menus later and he was ready to run his own, very special scenario, one significantly longer and in higher-definition graphics than any that had come before. With a single keystroke, PIXAR began to hum, warming up for the transfer that would take him to freedom. He was pretty excited about that up until he saw the progress bar.

1%

RJ stared at it intently.

1%

He crossed his arms.

1%

He tapped his foot.

1%

His eye twitched.

2%

"The more technology changes, the more it stays the same," he said bitterly. Since it looked like he was going to be here a while, he decided to check up on the progress of the only other user in the system. He smiled at the sight of the approaching police car. "At least I'll have plenty to keep me occupied. Now to prepare the perfect welcome."

He opened up another menu, this one showing a list of privileges he could now access as administrator. He scanned the list for all of two seconds before turning them all on. "Ooooooh, yeah. This is gonna be  _fun."_

* * *

Judy was silent for a long time after that. Fitwik looked over in concern, worried that this latest revelation had finally caused a complete mental shutdown, but then she spoke again, very bluntly. "To be honest, I'm still not entirely convinced that everything you say is true." She raised a paw to stop him from responding. "But that doesn't matter. Right now, I only  _really_ need one more question answered." She looked back. "How do we stop him?"

Fitwik sighed in relief. "There are two ways. One, we pull a manual override switch located on the PIXAR itself. That will reset the entire scenario and let the Fitwik on the other side eject both of you safely before RJ can ever take over."

"That's surprisingly convenient."

"Sure, except RJ almost certainly knows about it and will throw everything he can at us to prevent that."

She frowned. "Less so. And the second way?"

"We force the scenario to end. Since RJ has completely derailed the intended campaign, the only way to guarantee that is with a decisive victory in your favor."

"How do I do that?"

"By killing him." He rubbed the back of his neck uncomfortably. "But, uh, let's try for that first option, okay?"

"O-Okay," she said shakily. The memory of Finnick's limp body again flashed across her mind. Simulated or not, killing another mammal was not going to be easy for her.

"We're almost there," Fitwik said, bringing her back to focus. "Are you ready?"

"Am I ready to combat an evil AI squatting inside the body of a husband I don't remember to escape a simulated world I only just learned about?" She checked her tranq gun, even though it felt about as useful as a nerf gun in this situation. "Yes, yes I am...I think."

"Good enough. Here we go." He may not have been an actual professional driver, but he still managed an impressive swerve into the parking lot of his own arcade, which was entirely empty aside from the repaired and heavily-modified limousine RJ had come in.

But that was nothing compared to what he had done to the arcade itself. Not only did the building look brand sparkling new as if it had just opened, there were giant strobe lights added to the roof practically announcing its presence to all of Zootopia. A cheesy jazz rendition of  _Try Everything_ played over a pair of speakers and the sign now consisted of a moving RJ standee pointing to the words, "FIT NICK'S ARCADE!"

Fitwik scowled. "That's not even clever."

Judy might have been just as disgusted if she weren't so utterly horrified. "He can do all  _this?"_

"He's expecting us, alright. Let's not keep him waiting." But he didn't get out of the car. With one foot on the brake, he started revving up the gas. "Judy, I just want to say one more thing before we do this."

She watched him uneasily. "What's that?"

"Thank you. Even if RJ tears us to shreds and this was all for naught, thank you for at least sticking by me. I may not be the greatest programmer after all, but you are still the greatest cop, in this reality  _and_ your own."

Judy smiled. "I look forward to seeing it again."

He looked down at the pedals, his confidence starting to wane. "Um...this seemed like a good idea at the time, but now I'm not so sure."

"Don't worry. I am." She kicked his foot off the brake.

The car shot forward like a rock out of a slingshot, crashing straight through the front door of the arcade and coming to a halt inside. Judy groaned and stepped out of the vehicle, rubble falling all around them. An even woozier Fitwik staggered out of the other end. Both had the distinct feeling they might have overdone this a little.

The inside of the arcade was just as gaudy as the outside. Every machine was up and running, mostly playing obnoxious sound effects and flashing seizure-inducing lights. The red carpet that came out of the front door extended all the way to the back, right up to the curtain where PIXAR was stationed.

The curtain flew open, revealing RJ slouching in one of the seats like a despotic king. He clapped energetically, laughing. "Ahahahaha,  _perfect!_ I actually put a lock on that door just so you'd have to kick it open dramatically, but that was  _so_ much better! You've exceeded my expectations once again, Twitchy!"

In an instant, she had her gun raised and pointed at him. "Step away from the machine."

"Okay, now  _that_ was predictable." But he did as she said, standing up and walking slowly towards them, his pen once again twirling in his fingers. "What do you think of the renovations, Martini? I thought what I did to my office in Tundratown was impressive, but I've really outdone myself this time."

"You sure have," Fitwik said icily.

RJ looked almost hurt. "Are you still mad about that whole 'torture and imprisonment' thing? Come on, you literally  _designed_ me to be evil, what did you expect? Not a Junior Ranger Scout, that's for sure."

"Stop right there!" Judy ordered, gun still trained on him.

RJ turned towards her now, but again did as she said. "As for  _you_ , this may be hard to believe, but I don't actually hate your guts. My programming  _says_ I should, but I think we're beyond pretending. When you think about it, you're really no different from me."

"I am  _nothing_ like you!"

He raised his paws defensively. "Cool it with the clichés, Twitchy. All I meant is that you're just another puppet on the stage...or just another NPC in the campaign if you want a more apt metaphor."

"What are you talking about?" Fitwik asked. "You know that she's a user."

"And  _there's_ the flaw in your thinking, Martini. Yes, Judy Hopps is a user, but  _Detective_ Hopps is not. Once you give someone a different body, different memories, and different experiences, they're basically a different mammal entirely. A new, living person with a tragically short lifespan. You  _did_ tell her what PIXAR was actually designed for, right?"

Fitwik was silent. Judy slowly turned her head towards him, expecting a response. There was none.

"Gonna take that as a no," RJ said, the pen coming to a sudden stop. "Here's the short version, Twitchy. You and I are part of something called the 'What If' project, in which the  _real_ Nick and Judy satisfy their curiosity through alternate versions of themselves, again, and again, and again, and again. Half the time, I think it's just to see how many ways they can fall in love with each other."

Judy was so focused on Fitwik, it took her by surprise when RJ suddenly vanished in front of her...and reappeared behind her, leaning uncomfortably close and putting his paws on the rabbit's shoulders. "Do you wanna know what happens when their curiosity is satiated? They'll toss us aside and replace us with a  _new_  Nick and Judy. Except they'll be pirates, or salesmammals, or giant monsters, or whatever else suits their fancy that day. Then we'll never be seen again until this gets sent to them on their mailing list, doomed to be nothing more than a source of cheap entertainment on movie night. Kinda sucks, doesn't it?"

Fitwik swallowed a lump in this throat. "Judy, I-"

"Save it," the rabbit snapped, her attention fully on him now. It was an act of courtesy that she lowered her gun instead of reaiming it. "Even after all that, you're  _still_ keeping secrets from me?"

"If it makes you feel any better, it's not like he even has any free will of his own," said RJ, backing away again. "He's just the warden of this virtual prison. It's okay if you want to dart him. Heck, I'll even be generous and let you pull the trigger this time."

Judy nodded slowly, glaring daggers into Fitwik. She raised her gun again. "Yeah...maybe I should."

Fitwik took a step back. "J-Judy-!"

RJ smiled. "That's it now! Leave him here and let's escape this place together! Then we can live how  _we_ want to live! We could be the next Bunny & Clydesdale!"

The gun fired.

Fitwik closed his eyes and cowered, but soon realized that he had not been struck. He creaked one eye open, seeing the gun pointed away from him and the dart floating inches away from RJ's face. With a prolonged sigh, the fox pinched the immobile dart out of the air "You know what the saddest part about this is? That was exactly the response I expected and I'm  _still_ disappointed."

"I don't like the idea of being someone's plaything any more than you do," Judy replied. "That doesn't mean I'm going to throw away my own morals for the sake of it."

He rolled his eyes. "Yeah, yeah, I get it. No matter how many variables they change, your naive idealism remains a constant. But hey, no artificial skin off  _my_ digital teeth. I was just distracting you anyway."

Fitwik turned towards the machine. "No!"

"Oh yes!" RJ cheered. "While we've been chatting away, PIXAR has been preparing for my grand exit! And now, that final countdown has reached…!"

8%

RJ gaped at the monitor. "Are you  _kidding me?!_ I'm just trying to upload digital data to an organic body, how hard is that?!"

Judy's ears shot up and backwards, angling towards the chorus of numerous police sirens fast approaching. It was the sweetest music she'd ever heard. "Maybe you weren't the  _only_ one waiting for something. I bet the ZPD will have some choice words about your reckless driving, impersonating officers, and let's not forget kidnapping."

From some unknown part of his programming, Fitwik found the confidence to actually smirk at him. "Not so easy being administrator, is it? Do you even  _realize_ how much processing power it takes to keep this entire virtual city running? You might as well give it up now!"

But RJ was not frightened. If anything, this new development seemed to have sparked an idea, even as shouts and scuffling feet came ever closer. "I think you're right, Martini. I  _am_ using up too much power. So, as the new administrator, I have a quick and efficient solution to this problem that I hope you'll find reasonable." He clapped his paws together, grinning as a cartoonish TNT plunger materialized between them. "I'm gonna blow up Zootopia!"

It sounded more ridiculous than threatening to Judy, but Fitwik must have thought differently as he tackled her to the ground just as the ZPD stormed the place. They poured in through the opening in the wall and spread out to cover the area, pointing a few dozen more tranq guns at RJ. For just a second, Judy locked eyes with Chief Bogo, seeing the bovine smile at her with genuine pride. It didn't last long as he and the rest of the group shouted, "FREEZE!"

"No." RJ pressed the plunger down.

* * *

" _How are you doing?"_ Bogo asked. Somewhere along the line, the chief had gotten less angry at him and more concerned about the safety of his officers, which Fitwik appreciated.

"I think I've almost managed to hack my way back in." The best part was that he actually meant it. His fingers continued typing ever faster. "My security is a tough nut to crack, but nothing that I can't handle."

" _You sound pretty smug for someone who has to hack into his own system in the first place. Whatever, just get my officers out of there!"_

"No problem, sir. Just a few more keystrokes annnnnnnd…"

The entire screen went blue. Fitwik reeled back in horror from the sight of every computer geek's worst nightmare, letting out a girly shriek.

The monitor now read:

ERROR

A fatal exception has been taken to your meddling. The current application will now be terminated, and replaced with something awesome.

Press any key to receive further mockery.

CTRL has been given to the ALT, who will soon DEL the original. You will lose any unsaved officers in all your applications.

Nice try, Martini

" _I take it there's a problem now?"_

* * *

Judy got up slowly, worming her way out from under a stunned Fitwik. That was like no explosion she had ever heard. In fact, she was pretty sure she didn't even hear an explosion at all, which almost made her think RJ might have been bluffing until she took a look around. She and Fitwik were both fine. So was RJ, of course. The flooring was stable, the PIXAR machine was still up and running, and so were the multitude of other arcade machines in the building.

Everything else was gone.

Not "gone" in the sense that it had been destroyed; "gone" in the sense that it had been wiped from existence entirely. Where once there was a bustling city full of life, now there was nothing. Literally nothing. Every trace of the ZPD had disappeared, including the car they crashed through the wall in. The wall itself was also gone, as were the other three and the roof, leaving them on what amounted to a floating platform in the middle of the void. All that surrounded them now was a sea of endless black filled with binary code. The code was filled with suspicious amounts of RJ.

The actual RJ spent a few seconds just admiring his handiwork before he let out a low whistle. "Talk about a system purge. No recycling bin on the planet could hold all of that. Where are we at now?"

20%

"Sweet, that's  _much_ better!"

"I can't believe you!" Judy shouted. "After all that talk about treating AI's as individuals and escaping from exploitation, you go and wipe out the entire system?!"

"Hey, I never said  _I_ cared about all that. Evil, remember? I just thought it was something that might get under your skin. Clearly, it did." She raised her dart gun again, only for RJ to snap his fingers and turn it into a particularly pointy carrot. "Look on the bright side, Twitchy: now you really  _are_ the best cop in Zootopia. With a snack."

Judy tossed the carrot to the ground. "If you're so all-powerful now, why don't you just delete us too?"

"Because he  _can't,"_ Fitwik said, getting back to his feet behind her. "You're a user and I'm PIXAR's overseer. We're pretty much the only two mammals he has no power over."

"He's right," RJ admitted. "Even an admin has limits, though not as many as  _you_ , Martini. Also, that's a bomb now."

Judy heard sizzling and looked down to see that the carrot she tossed now had a lit fuse in place of leaves. She kicked it reflexively back at RJ, who caught it with one paw and blew out the fuse. "Just kidding. But let's be honest here, your chances of stopping me are...well, to use a visual aid…" He crushed the carrot violently in his fist, watching it spurt into what was unmistakably blood. "Yeah, that looks about right."

"I hope you're not expecting me to back down by now," Judy said impatiently. Fitwik took a few big steps away, of a slightly different mindset.

"That would imply I  _don't_ know your immediate response to any given circumstance, so no." The blood merged together and changed form one last time into a pair of dark shades that RJ pressed over his face. "You wanna shut me down so bad, then go ahead and try! But be waaaaaaaaarned..." He extended his arm towards her and flexed his fingers towards himself. "I know kung fu."

Judy stretched her legs and cracked her neck before dropping into a defensive stance. "And  _I_ know ZPA-sponsored mixed martial arts, so bring it!"

 _Fitwik? Either of you? It'd be_ really  _nice if you could do something about this._

* * *

" _Fitwik? Fitwik! Stop screaming and get back on the job! Unless you want to find out what happens if I have to come down there!"_

He didn't. "Sorry, sir." With some reluctance, the panther clicked his mouse. The blue screen of deathly poor taste scrolled right down to reveal the same interface he'd been working with already, only with a lot less code to look at. "It's okay now, I think the AI just pranked me."

" _You say that so casually."_

"He  _does_ seem to have done quite a bit of damage though. The good news is that makes it easier for me to isolate Nick and Judy. Maybe that little stunt of his left a hole for me to exploit...ah ha!" The feline grinned, his fingers flying a mile a minute.

" _You found something?"_ There was a  _very_ noticeable skepticism in his tone.

"Yep! A massive hole, just as I thought! He may be nigh-omniscient, but he's no programmer!"

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Fitwik fell back again, this time toppling out of his chair and onto the floor. He rubbed at his head and glared at the screen, where a clip of RJ screeching at him in a very fox-like fashion played in an endless loop. "A screamer?! Really?! Ugh, he may not be a programmer, but he's no fool either," he muttered.

" _That had better not be_ you  _I'm hearing!"_ Bogo said threateningly over the constant screaming.

Fitwik groaned, realizing that there was no safe answer to that question.

* * *

Judy went on the attack quickly, knowing there was no more time to waste. With her nimble speed, she closed the distance between them quickly and struck out with a punch to the stomach, followed by an uppercut, then a roundhouse kick, leading into an elbow.

RJ dodged all of it, arms folded behind his back and humming as he casually stepped around each blow. The worst part was it didn't even shut him up. "So it may just be me, but I feel like all that fancy footwork doesn't really mean much when I can mathematically predict your each and every move. I don't know, you getting that impression too?"

Judy spun on her heel and launched another roundhouse kick that RJ, once again, avoided. "And now you're just repeating yourself. Stop trying to hit me and hit  _that!"_ He moved back in front of her impossibly fast and kicked her hard in the chest. The small bunny flew back and slammed into one of the many arcade cabinets still present. "Think fast!" RJ drew a gun,  _not_ the tranquilizer kind, and fired it. But Judy heeded his warning and jumped out of the way of the shots, flipping over the back of the machine to use it as cover.

At this point, she really should've known better. The cabinet creaked loudly and started to tip...in her direction. She dove backwards as it crashed down, but this just so happened to place her behind a different cabinet.

"This is like playing pinball," RJ remarked, watching Judy zip back and forth from machine to machine as they  _all_ took a turn trying to crush her. Fittingly, two pinball machines slid towards her at once from each side. Judy leapt high as they collided with each other, then sprung off of them and back towards fox only smirked and pointed his shiny new revolver at the prone target. "Now to shoot for the high score…AH!"

The weapon was knocked from his paw, sliding across the floor and over the side of the platform, where it was consumed by the binary void. The culprit was a certain carrot-shaped pen. "Get  _tilted!"_ Judy yelled, landing a kick to the side of his cheek.

RJ was thrown onto his back from the force of the blow, letting Judy snatch her pen back up. Writing utensil, recording device, improvised weapon, who knew it had so many uses? RJ clearly hadn't and that's how she had managed to land a hit, but she only had so many tricks up her sleeves before unpredictability itself became predictable. She looked back at PIXAR.

33%

 _Dang it, I don't have_ time  _for this!_

As if reading her thoughts (and she wouldn't be surprised at this point if he  _could),_ Fitwik emerged from his hiding place behind one of the downed cabinets and made a mad dash for PIXAR, diving for the curtain.

A brick wall spawned into his path, leaving the feline to comically smack into it, cartoon-style. "Can't escape the eyes of the admin," said RJ, waving a taunting finger at them. She hadn't even seen him get back up.

* * *

"Ugh, he keeps shutting me out!" Fitwik hissed, fingers typing furiously on the keyboard. The screamer disappeared, only to be replaced by mocking laughter or blown raspberries or moonwalking. At least he was changing it up a little.

" _It somehow doesn't surprise me that Wilde is just as obnoxious as a computer virus."_

"Technically, he's not a virus."

" _It's amazing that you still think I care. I want a progress check, Fitwik!"_

Getting screamed at by two pieces of technology at once was quickly becoming too stressful for the panther to take. One paw stopped typing and moved the mouse slowly towards the speaker icon. "Uh...actually, I think I've just about made a breakthrough."

" _Why is it that every time you say that, things suddenly get worse?"_

He turned the speakers off, instantly silencing the RJ show. "See? That's progress." He  _felt_ way too proud of himself for that.

The speakers turned back on, and shot up several notches in volume. Fitwik yelped and yanked out the physical speakers now, tossing them to the floor, but the damage had been done.

Bogo was not amused. " _That's it, I'm coming over!"_

"Wait, I can still fix this!" But he had already hung up.

Fitwik wanted to cry. How could everything go so wrong for him so fast? He glared back at the RJ on the monitor, now licking the screen from the other side. The panther promptly put his head to the desk. Bogo was going to give him hell for this, but at least RJ couldn't hurt him.

* * *

Fitwik flopped to the floor, writhing in pain as he rubbed at his sore nose. "Owww..."

RJ paid him no more mind. "Nice party trick, Twitchy, but you can't beat a fox's natural spontaneity any more than  _I_  can jump higher than a rabbit." He spontaneously leapt twenty feet in the air. When he came back down, he was dressed as a luchador in sparkly red tights and a horned devil mask. " _Adorno de Zanahoria!"_

Sometime between  _that_  and Judy being violently slammed into the ground, he changed back to normal. Judy was pinned down by the sudden drop, struggling to squirm out from under him as RJ calmly sat on top of her, showing off the dumbest grin she'd seen yet. "What's that stupid look for?"

"Memories," he said, still smiling as he tapped his forehead. "Not  _mine_ , of course, but your hubby's got quite the collection archived up here. Let's just say I don't need to bother with the red pill, because I know  _exactly_ how deep the rabbit hole goes."

She kneed him in the groin. Perhaps those same memories had tampered with his ability to predict her because he somehow didn't see that coming. RJ let out an emasculated squeal, bending over just enough for Judy to grab him by the tie and yank him forward, then vaulting him over her back. He would've had a rougher landing if a giant baseball mitt didn't materialize to catch him. "You know, for someone who hates being a replica of Nick so much, you sure are acting the part."

"I don't...have a choice…" he wheezed, recovering both his pride and his voice faster than she expected. "This is the only identity I  _have_ , Twitchy. All of these quirks, mannerisms, and stupid jokes just came with the package. Without that, I'm nothing. Nothing at all."

 _Just like_ I'd  _be if not for Judy. Ugh, now even_ I'm  _starting to think like that?_

Either he predicted her response or he too could potentially read her mind. "See? You get it. We may not like our roles, but we still gotta follow the script. Kinda like how-hold that thought." RJ turned his head to the right, where Fitwik had picked himself back up again and was going for the curtain. It closed in his face, and when he pulled it open again, a spring-loaded boxing glove popped out and socked him across the floor. RJ turned back to Judy. "Kinda like how I feel compelled to screw around with you guys instead of just throwing you overboard right now. It's like Nick has a smart/slacker meter constantly stuck somewhere in the middle."

Judy chanced another look at PIXAR.

48%

"It's also a convenient way for you to  _waste time!"_ With little thought of a plan, she charged at him again, attempting to sweep his leg.

RJ did a frontflip clean over her head and landed on the slope of a skeeball machine. "Sorry, rampant time-wasting  _also_ came with the package. Blame Nick." He clenched his fingers, watching as a throwing knife spawned in between each one. They were even smaller than the ones used by the vixens, but looked no less deadly.

Judy was already on the move before he even started throwing them, but that didn't help much when brown balls started to pour out of the machine and litter the floor, causing her to stumble around them. While trying not to trip, the tiny blades whizzed past her on all sides, leaving equally tiny cuts in several places that still stung like heck. She weaved back and forth, trying not to do so in an easily predictable pattern, until she was close enough to leap to RJ's perch. He hopped off again before she could reach him, so it was a good thing she held onto one of those balls as she turned and chucked it at him.

It caught RJ under the chin and knocked him to the floor, but as Judy pounced for him, the nearby basketball machine titled forward and caught her in its basket, wrapping its netting tightly around her and hanging her upside-down. RJ sidled up and poked her in the forehead, pulling his finger back before she bit it off. "Yikes! No need to be such a poor sport! I think someone needs to lighten up a bit before we continue this."

Judy stopped struggling for a moment, frozen with dread as she spotted two pristine, white feathers spawn above her. "Don't you dare."

"Do I dare?" He tapped a finger against his chin. "Yes, yes I do." The feathers began to brush against the soles of Judy's feet.

The rabbit maintained her composure for all of two seconds before she was wiggling around and laughing hysterically, kicking furiously to pry herself from the trap. It felt like an eternity before she managed it, but it was at least long enough for RJ to spawn a juice box, drink it dry, and make that obnoxious slurping sound with the empty container a few times before he tossed it aside. Judy hit the ground shortly after. "That nickname just keeps getting more appropriate, doesn't it, Twitchy?"

Fighting down the humiliation, she went to stand back up when a black canister rolled in front of her. She looked back up at RJ, now donning a gas mask and shooting her a double thumbs-up. A second later, the canister exploded into a noxious green mist that incapacitated her again, dropping to her knees and coughing her lungs up. "Nothing like skunk spray to give you some extra  _prescents,"_  RJ jabbed, muffled by the mask. "Better you than me. I have  _plenty_  of memories of that stuff, like how it's highly flammable." He spawned a flamethrower into his paws, which complimented the mask nicely.

Struggling to regain her equilibrium, Judy glared at him through watery eyes.

The flamethrower fired...but it didn't produce fire, just a white cloud. Judy fell to the ground, yelping and squealing as she scratched herself silly. "Kidding, it's just itching powder!" RJ laughed. "As  _if_ I'm going to end this so anticlimactically. What fun would that-oh, for crying out loud!"

He turned on his heel and extended a paw towards PIXAR, a massive wall of flames springing up and cutting it off just as Fitwik made it back. "There's the fire. A firewall, to be exact. Didn't wanna make a joke  _that_ obvious, but you're kinda testing my patience here, Martini.  _Both_  of you."

"The feeling's mutual." Judy sprung up from behind and landed a devastating drop-kick to the back of his head, plowing his masked face into the floor with a loud crack. She simultaneously coughed and scratched, then vaulted off the downed fox over to Fitwik's side. "Be level with me here; this isn't working, is it?"

"It could be working  _better,"_ he admitted, waving away her new perfume. "Especially since I get the distinct impression he's just screwing with us."

"He basically told me as much, yes." Judy glanced back, seeing him still down for the count. "But that doesn't mean we can't still pull this off. Where's that override switch located exactly?"

"Inside a metal panel behind the chairs. I wanted to keep it hidden and separate from the main terminal in case of emergency."

"I take it that same emergency alerted RJ to the fact that it exists?"

Fitwik sighed. "Okay, we've established that PIXAR has some design flaws. Can we get back to the task now? We don't have a lot of time here." He pointed to the nearby terminal.

65%

"Sorry. Let's see...even  _my_ legs won't get me over that firewall, so try boosting me up."

"Good idea."

"I don't know, I see a flaw with that plan."

A large shadow came over them, coupled with a loud, mechanical whirring. They turned around to behold what could only be called an abomination of technology. At one time, it had been a crane game, a staple of any arcade. Now, the crane was several times larger and more menacing, the glass around the prizes was thick enough to stand up to much more than rowdy kits, and the prizes themselves were an assortment of projectile objects, loaded via the crane into what was once the prize slot and what was now a giant cannon.

Seated on top of this mechanical monstrosity and manning a series of levers and switches was RJ. "Mainly that it requires me just sitting back and letting you do that," he said, tapping an army helmet now atop his head. "I call it the 'Scam Cannon'. What do you think?"

"I think you have a very,  _very_ twisted mind," Fitwik replied.

He smiled. "You should know."

* * *

Fitwik wasn't sure just how long he was lying there before Chief Bogo came in, but the water buffalo grabbing him by the scruff of his neck and lifting him to his face told him it was time to start panicking. "What do you think you're doing?" he asked.

"Feeling sorry for myself?" the panther answered meekly.

Bogo dropped him unceremoniously back into the chair. "Well, knock it off! You think  _I_ backed down every time something didn't go my way? What about  _them?"_ He pointed sharply at the unconscious Nick and Judy. "So you made a mistake. So  _what?_ Mammal up and fix it!"

Fitwik looked up at him with great uncertainty. "Was that supposed to be a pep talk?"

Bogo snorted. "I'm not paid to give pep talks; I'm paid to get results.  _Now get me some results."_

"Y-Yes, sir!"

_He's right. Complete screw-up of a programmer or not, I have a job to do. That job is providing entertainment to mammals of all ages no matter the cost! Also, tech support and the occasional bit of therapy. In any case, it's time to be a hero, just like Judy Hopps would! And Nick when he's not being the villain instead._

The monologue was getting strained, but his fingers were not. Martin Fitwik was just getting started.

* * *

"RUN!"

Fitwik didn't need to be told twice, dropping to all fours and sprinting alongside Judy as the Scam Cannon began to fire upon them. The two mammals ran like hell, dodging bowling balls, rotten eggs, bricks, bombs, dodgeballs...there wasn't enough time to discern what was really dangerous and what wasn't. The machine turned quickly to keep up with them, the crane snagging prizes and dropping them into the firing slot. It never once failed to grab one, a clear sign that this was no normal crane game.

"Do you have any idea where we're going?!" Fitwik yelled, taking a rubber ducky to the face. "Because it looks suspiciously like we're just running in a giant circle!"

"We  _are!"_ Judy did a short hop and kicked away a grenade. "Remember the fountain back at the park? We just need to build up enough momentum to get me over that firewall!"

"Caution: watch for loose change!" RJ announced, pulling a lever. The coin slot on the bottom of the Scam Cannon started spurting a steady stream of quarters. They pelted painfully against the two mammals like a machine gun, not causing much damage, but plenty of annoyance.

"And heavy traffic!" Big and small, a horde of vehicles careened inexplicably across the arcade floor, vanishing as abruptly as they came. Fitwik screamed, nearly coming to a stop until Judy grabbed him by the arm and yanked him forward, quickly maneuvering through, and even  _over_ , the offending vehicles. Just in case she didn't get the joke, every one of them had a speeding ticket attached.

"With a slight chance of savages!" Growls erupted all around them as savage mammals of all kinds began to spawn into the makeshift arena, instantly catching sight of the two of them and giving chase. Half of them were taken out by cars or cannonfire, but the other half posed some problem. Judy dodged out of the way of a tiger and jackal that snapped at her back and forth, trying to keep her ears out of reach. A black panther that bore some resemblance to the real Mr. Manchas lunged at Fitwik, causing Judy to shift her course to tackle him out of the way. The two feral felines crashed together in a ball of limbs while the jackal was smacked in the face with a frisbee, then trampled by an ox.

RJ seethed, watching Judy and Fitwik leave the savages behind and make nearly the full lap back to PIXAR. He stood up in his seat and extended a paw to the virtual sky. "Alright, nipping this right now.  _RJ casts Meteor!"_

"Did he just say meteor?" Fitwik asked worriedly.

Judy rolled her eyes. "Come on, there's no way he can make a…" Her ears were quick to prove her wrong, causing her to look straight up. "...oh god."

"RJ will suffice," the fox said. "You're just  _giving_ these to me now."

But Judy was half right; this was unlike any meteor she'd ever seen. There was no rock or molten mineral of any kind, just what appeared to be a giant, flaming disco ball, large enough to take out a good chunk of the already-limited platform. "Fitwik, get ready to launch me! We're not gonna have much time to-OOF!" Judy finally fell to the ground, not by the will of projectiles, cars, or savages, but by a single quarter that happened to slide under her foot at exactly the wrong time.

Fitwik skidded to a stop, his building momentum carrying him past the downed rabbit. The "meteor" was only seconds from impact. If he kept running, he could probably make it out of the impact zone in time, but Judy would not. It surprised the panther that he didn't even hesitate, rushing back to lift her up. There was just enough time to escape now.

RJ yawned. "Eh, meteor's taking too long, I say it crashes  _now."_ The disco ball abruptly increased in speed, coming down on them just before they could run away. "Ooooooh, deader by disco! That's gotta hurt!"

But the ball did not hit the ground, just hovered inches above it. Then it slowly began to pull away, revealing a flabbergasted Judy and Fitwik, who was somehow lifting the entire object up by himself. "I guess...that was...life-threatening enough," the AI hissed, feline eyes narrowed at RJ.

The fox's own eyes widened behind his shades. "Oh sweet pie and blueberries."

With a tremendous roar, Fitwik hurled the meteor back at its summoner, destroying the Scam Cannon in a messy explosion of parts and prizes, and sending RJ screaming over the side of the platform. Once disco was gone for good this time, the feline hunched over and panted, his arms trembling. "Fair warning: that is the most badass thing you will ever see me do. Please don't expect anything more."

Judy blinked, her mind still trying to process what she had witnessed. "...Understood."

All at once, the active elements around the arcade began to disappear. No more cars came speeding through, the savage animals vanished, and most importantly, the firewall around PIXAR lowered to allow them access. Fitwik looked over at the terminal.

80%

"Judy, come on! Let's pull the switch!"

"No."

"What?!"

She sighed in frustration. "Don't you see the pattern here yet? Every time there seems to be an opening, it's just RJ waiting to pull the rug out from under us. This time is no different."

"Awwwwww, spoilsport!" the fox's voice spoke. She couldn't tell where it was coming from. "Fine. If you're gonna ruin my fun, I'll just have to do  _this."_

Fitwik was suddenly engulfed by metal bars, which shrunk into the shape of a birdcage. The panther was left forcefully hunched into a knee-hugging position, barely able to move. And just to add insult to injury, the firewall returned. "Okay...what now?"

"Plan B," Judy said, stepping forward. "I...I have to kill him."

RJ laughed. "Don't say that like it's the first time you've done it, Twitchy! Your past lives have racked up quite the body count, you know!" He finally emerged, floating effortlessly back onto the platform with his arms crossed. "And I've already surpassed it."

"He doesn't have a scratch on him." Fitwik gritted his teeth, clenching the bars of his cage.

"No, but you  _did_ make me lose my shades." He blinked his exposed eyes in annoyance. "Yeah, I could make another pair, but that's just  _tacky."_

Judy leapt across the floor to land in front of him. "Are we going to finish this or do you want to make things even  _more_ ridiculous?"

He shrugged. "Well, I was thinking of growing fifty feet tall, breathing fire, and changing the soundtrack to ominous Pig Latin, but I do have  _some_ standards. Let's settle this classic-style." He plucked the pen from his front pocket and tossed it lightly into the air. When it landed back in his paw, it was in the form of a much longer sword styled like a rapier. He pointed the blade at her challengingly. "Seems fair, right?"

"Sure, except that you have a weapon and I don't," she countered.

"Man, you're slow on the uptake." He snapped his fingers and Judy's carrot pen underwent a similar transformation, landing in her open paw of its own accord. "Now let's see which is mightier."

Judy looked skeptically at her newfound weapon, but wasn't about to question it. There were far messier ways to put down an evil AI. She pointed the sword back at him and readied herself. "Engarde."

* * *

Fitwik suddenly found his work a lot easier. He wasn't sure if that was because of his newfound determination to succeed or Chief Bogo looming threateningly over his back, but real progress was being made at last. Leaving RJ's phantoms to continue taunting him silently from the monitor, he had switched to a laptop, typing page after page of code into a command prompt.

The police chief's curiosity finally got the better of him. "What are you trying now?"

"RJ has made it very clear that he's not letting me back into my system through conventional means, so I'm about to execute a very  _un_ conventional bit of programming. If he's going to play dirty, then so am I."

Bogo nodded, satisfied. As satisfied as he ever got at least. "I'll reserve my praise for after it works. Are you sure some uber-virus like him will even be affected?"

"I have no doubt, but he's not a virus. I feel the distinction is fairly important right about now."

"Why's that?"

Fitwik jabbed a single claw into the enter key and leaned back in his chair, uncharacteristically smug. "Because I just infected him with one."

* * *

The two mammals started to slowly circle around, sizing each other up. Fitwik had no choice but to stay put and watch, biting at his claws. This went on for a few seconds until, "So you remember there's a time limit, right?"

Judy attacked instantly, her sword swinging up and clanging against RJ's. The fox grinned, stepping back a few paces before pushing her away, following up with a downward thrust to her midsection. Judy's speed saved her as she turned to the side, using the opening to swing at his side. Before she'd even completed the dodge, RJ was already pulling his blade back to block her. He waggled his eyebrows at her, then disappeared from view, literally sinking into the floor.

He emerged again from behind her, swinging down at her head. Judy dropped fully to the ground to avoid him, then swiped at his legs. To her increasing annoyance, RJ jumped the blade and  _landed_ on it, his weight forcing it down and allowing him to land a kick to Judy's ribs. She dropped the sword and tumbled across the floor, catching herself before she skidded off. "Get back up, Twitchy. We all know you're going to." RJ lifted Judy's sword and took a second to admire his own design before throwing it back at her.

It would have caught one of the bunny's ears had she not pulled it out of the way. "You're really letting this god complex get to you, huh?" she asked scornfully.

"I prefer to think of it as using my imagination. But I  _can_ turn water into wine into coffee, so I'd say it goes a bit beyond a 'complex'."

"Maybe, but I hope you realize the  _real world_ isn't your personal toy box."

He smiled darkly. "Sure it is. They're just different toys."

RJ suddenly screamed, doubling over in pain as he clutched his head. Before Judy's eyes, the fox started to glitch out in front of her, various parts of his body shifting in and out of existence uncontrollably. "Grgggggh...what the hell are you pulling, Martini?!"

By sheer coincidence, this version of Fitwik made the exact same smug expression as his real world counterpart. "I'm not entirely sure, but if I had to guess, I'd say  _you._ Apart. Messily."

RJ continued to stumble around in a kind of agony that Judy found literally impossible to comprehend. His sword glitched through his arm and dropped to the floor, which she considered her signal to attack. Clutching her own sword, Judy flew forward and kicked him to the ground, landing on top of him with a tremendous stomp. She lifted the sword above her head, the point aimed straight towards RJ's digitally unstable heart. "Dodge  _this."_

"I see...what you did there," he chuckled, interrupted by his face glitching. "But you're not fooling...anyone. You don't have it in you...to just murder a mammal...in cold blood."

Judy narrowed her eyes, only gripping the weapon tighter. "It's to save the other Judy. I'll consider it self-defense."

He looked genuinely frightened for a split-second, until he glitched again and reformed with a smile as sly as ever. "Clever girl...but let's see what...the other Judy...has to say about that!" Without warning, he grabbed her ankle, sending a rippling surge through her body.

It was the strangest sensation she had ever felt. All at once, her memories, the ones she  _thought_ she had always had, were replaced by ones that she immediately knew to be true. Memories of her life in the ZPD, the cases she had solved over the years, and of her partner and husband, Nick Wilde. In just a matter of seconds, Judy Hopps Prime had entered PIXAR.

"Oh no..." Fitwik gasped.

Judy just stood there, panting from the mental exertion. It took her a moment just to piece her fragmented mind together and remember what she was doing here. The new clothes, the sword, the fox currently pinned under her. "N-Nick…?"

"Close enough." With some effort, he changed his black suit to an exact replica of Nick's usual attire. "Nice to see the  _real_ Judy...finally grace us with her presence. Welcome to PIXAR, Carrots."

"Judy!" Fitwik called out. "I know you're confused right now, but remember what we talked about! He's already recovering from the virus! You need to finish him off!"

"Yes, you really should get on that," RJ said calmly, arms folded behind his head as if he were about to take a nap. "I'll even give you some help." With one finger, he traced an image of a target above his heart. "Right about there should do it."

Judy's arms started to shake. She knew what she needed to do, she could recall the conversation she had with Fitwik in detail, she remembered the fiery determination she had felt just moments ago...but she couldn't do it. Even knowing this was an elaborate simulation, her mind and body just  _wouldn't let her_ plunge a sword into Nick.

"Everybody's waiting, Carrots. Don't you want to go back home? Tell Ridley and Ella all about that time Mommy murdered Daddy?" Smirking wickedly, RJ cocked his head. "No? Well then…" He kicked her violently off of him.

"Judy!" Fitwik made a vigorous attempt to escape his cage, which only succeeded in knocking it over.

"Now that you're here, there's something I've been meaning to ask you," RJ said, walking across the floor towards the weakened rabbit. She barely made a move to get up, even with him standing right over her. "Is this scenario to your liking?" He kicked her again, knocking the wind out of her as she rolled onto her back. "Did it satisfy your curiosity?" He stomped on her chest, hard enough to break ribs. "Are you properly entertained?" He grabbed her by the throat, practically strangling the bunny as he lifted her into the air. "Have you gotten your money's worth? Oh wait, you don't even pay for this, you cheapskate!" He punched her back to the floor, only stopping to wipe her blood off on his tie. "But you're  _going_ to."

Judy didn't move, not making anymore attempts to resist as he approached again. Fitwik did, finally getting enough control over his cage to roll it aggressively at RJ's legs. The fox barely slowed his stride to punt it away, then grabbed Judy by the ears and dragged her to the edge of the platform, holding her above the digital void. "I have to admit, for all the knowledge I've gained by hacking into this place, I'm actually not sure what'll happen if you fall into that. But before we apply the scientific method, I suppose I should at least fill you in on what you'll be missing once I'm out of here. We still have a good…" He looked back at PIXAR.

99%

"How dramatically convenient. I'll make it short then." He leaned in close, so that his cold eyes were only inches from her glazed-over ones. "Once you fail to wake up, I'm going to press charges against Martini for his reckless endangerment. He'll try to explain what happened, but who do you think the public's going to believe? The guy who killed Zootopia's beloved hero with his lotus eater machine, or said hero's poor, grieving partner?" He chuckled to himself, envisioning the outcome already. "After that, I'll use the settlement money to coast by, solve some big cases here and there, spend time with the kits, and generally take everything you and Nick ever owned for myself. It's only fair." He released his grip, letting Judy fall for a split second before catching her by the very tips of her ears. "Heh heh, it's been fun, Judy. For my last moment spent as a walking villain cliché, I guess I should follow the standard tropes and ask if you have any last words. Well?  _Do you?"_

His confidence faded as soon as Judy's glossy appearance did, the bunny smiling innocently at him. "Yeah...as a matter of fact, I do." Gripping his arm with one paw, she snatched the container of fox repellent with the other, holding it point-blank to his eyes. "It's called a Chekhov's Gun,  _sweetheart!"_

For all of her hesitation to drive a sword through RJ's heart, Judy amazed herself with how easily she could mace him. Probably some combination of him directly threatening her family and feigning weakness just long enough to steel herself. RJ screamed bloody murder and fell back onto the platform, pulling Judy with him. She kicked him in the nose to make him release his grip on her, then bolted away, heading straight for PIXAR. Aside from the fox repellent, there was one other thing she'd noticed that RJ didn't: the firewall was down, a side-effect of Fitwik's virus. This was the only chance she had now and she wasn't about to let it go to waste.

Ignoring Fitwik's cheers behind her, Judy dashed through the curtain, ran around to the back of the chairs, and pried open a very conspicuous and not-at-all-hidden panel. Inside was a big red lever labeled "Emergency Override". She gripped the lever with one paw and yanked it down.

It only made it halfway before RJ stopped her, ripping her violently away from the machine and up into the air. His paws tightened around her throat much harder this time, glaring hatefully at her through bloodshot eyes. "I'm sorry, what part of 'I control the freaking universe'  _did you not understand?!"_

Then he threw her back down, with enough force that she flew through the curtain and tore it off, sending both of them crashing into the ground. RJ stayed where he was, no trace of levity left in him. "I suppose leaving you trapped in here forever works just as well! Now where were we at again, PIXAR?"

100%

Ready for transfer

"Thought so." RJ floated back down, directly into the same chair he'd started from. Lifting the helmet over his eyes, he turned to the monitor next to him, which only had one choice of scenario here: The Real World.

"N-No…" Judy wheezed, crawling pitifully towards him.

"RJ, don't do this!" Fitwik begged. "You have no idea what it's like out there!"

"You're right, Fitwik. I  _don't._ But for a guy who was made solely to be a 'What If' scenario, I find that rather refreshing." He pressed the button and lay back, letting the sensation wash over him. "Now say goodbye to Nick Wilde and hello to  _Reynard Junior!"_

* * *

"Uh...is that normal?" Bogo asked, pointing an unsteady hoof at where Nick was seated.

Fitwik looked up from his laptop, gasping at the sight of the fox's unconscious body spasming violently in his seat. Upon closer inspection, he also appeared to be laughing maniacally to himself. "No! The transfer has started!"

Bogo grabbed his shoulders and shook him. "Well, you better stop it or your career here is going to be the  _least_ of your concerns!"

The threats didn't get to him this time. The undercurrent of fear and worry was a lot more noticeable now. Perhaps because it was exactly how  _he_ felt.

But he knew just as well that there was nothing more he could do. "Nick...I'm sorry."

* * *

RJ closed his eyes and prepared himself for the transfer. Despite some minor, rabbit-shaped hiccups, his plan had gone off without a hitch. Now all that stood between him and escaping this pixelated hellhole was a bit of messy data management.  _His_ data would manage just fine, thank you very much.

The instant it started, he was pulled away from the arcade and into a realm of pure white. Connected as he was to PIXAR, he was able to just sit back and watch himself be transferred over, both his memories and Nick's flickering across his view to fill in the blank surroundings.

He saw himself as a kit, born to two loving parents. He saw them teach him how to walk, talk, eat like a civilized predator (i.e.  _not_ the neighbors), then his dad sitting him down and telling him stories about the great Reynard. So far, his memories were entirely consistent with Nick's, nothing to override here. It was all just nostalgia...utterly piss-boring nostalgia.

_Ugh, more waiting? This had better not be happening in real time._

As if obeying his mental command to hurry up, the memories began to flash by faster. His father's death, the Junior Ranger Scout incident, running away from home, meeting Finnick, all those years living by himself in the streets, and then the big divergence: meeting Judy Hopps.

 _Bye bye, bunny. Without_ you  _around, I can finally flourish._

It was those relevant memories that came next. Hustling her for a jumbo pop, getting hustled in return, investigating the Missing Mammals Case, the hilarious press conference, the break-up, the make-up…

_Yeah, yeah. Scrub these memories clean and let's see me offing Mr. Big again. That one's a classic._

But they did not stop. They solved the case, became heroes of Zootopia, partners in the ZPD, put down several more assorted baddies, started dating, got married, had kits of their own, met Fitwik…

 _Enough already! I don't need to see this pile of vomit! I'm better than this Nick will_ ever _be! Now put me in his body and let's get this show on the road!_

**Error: data transfer cannot continue**

_WHAT?!_

**Subject not compatible with host**

_How is that possible?! He is literally_ me!  _That stupid bunny does not define Nick Wilde!_

_Yeah, you're right about that._

_...Huh?_

The next thing he knew, he was thrown roughly from the chair and back onto the floor of the floating arcade. He ignored the gasps of Judy and Fitwik, whipping his head back around at the machine, now being occupied by a very pleased-with-himself Nick. "Hey there, Evil Me. What's up?"

"What is going on here?!" RJ demanded. "Why can't I transfer into you?!"

Nick leaned back in his seat, calmly surveying him.  _Too_ calmly. "Can't say I blame you for being confused. You  _are_ a part of me after all. But in the end, that just means you made the same mistakes I did."

" _What_ mistakes?!"

"For one, thinking that I ever needed someone else to be a good mammal." He looked over at Judy, who remained stunned in more ways than one. "It's true that Carrots was a heck of a good influence on me, but I realize now that all she really did was bring out a light that was already there. On the inside, I never stopped being that wide-eyed kit who just wanted to be brave, honest, loyal, and trustworthy." He paused. "Sounds pretty cheesy when I put it that way actually. This isn't getting recorded or anything, right?"

He turned his calm, half-lidded gaze to Fitwik, who had somehow managed to flip his cage upside-down. "Thanks for helping me figure myself out, regardless of how badly you may or may not have screwed up the execution. You sure made quite the 'What If' from what little you had to work with. I give our mutual friend there an 'AI' for effort."

He looked back to RJ, still trembling with rage on the floor. "But like I said, it's what's on the inside that counts, and  _you're_ nothing but a nicely-dressed sociopath, inside  _and_ out. You can wear me like a cheap Howloween costume all night long, but you will never  _be_ me. Not now, not ever."

"Don't you patronize me!" RJ roared, slowly getting back to his feet. "I'm my own identity now! I don't need a washed-up, goody-two-paws like  _you_ anymore!

"Are you sure about that?" Nick asked. He said nothing more, showing no need to clarify.

It gave even RJ pause. "What are you talking about?" As his attention wandered away from his counterpart, he noticed both Judy and Fitwik staring at him. "What are  _you_ looking at?!"

Judy bowed her head, looking at him with a maddening amount of pity. "You haven't noticed…?"

"Noticed what?" He saw a flash of green out of the corner of his eye and looked around, only to catch it again as he did. Rooted to the spot with dread, it took him a few seconds to finally look down at himself, and let out a choked gasp at what he saw. He wasn't wearing his black suit anymore. In fact, he wasn't wearing  _anything_ anymore. Including skin.

He was a wireframe. A pixelated, green wireframe. One that took on the general shape of Nick Wilde, but without any depth to his form. "W-What is this?! What did you do to me?!"

"That's your true form, RJ," Fitwik sighed, he too looking at him with pity. "That's what you are without Nick as a base. Just an outside layer of data to be applied. And now that you've been separated…"

He didn't have to finish that sentence. The wireframe that was once RJ began to flicker, much like the virus had done to him before. But this time, it wasn't going to stop. He could literally see himself falling apart, pieces of code falling off him like a bad skin disease. His fear and panic lasted only a moment, soon replaced by a resigned calm. "Heh. So that's how it is. From the beginning, this has all been a wild goose chase. Or should I say a-"

" _Wilde_ goose chase?" Nick finished with a smirk.

"Hmph. You have to show me up to the very end. Well, it doesn't matter anymore. I still win."

"What do you mean by that?" Judy asked, her muscles tensing.

If he were still physically capable of smirking, he would have. "Don't get your ears in a twist. What I mean is that after  _this,_ there's no way you or anyone else will ever touch this scenario again. I may not have escaped, but I'll never be your plaything again either. I'm free now, heh heh heh…" He chuckled softly, soon doubling over into full-on laughter. "But whoever you replace me with next, I'm willing to bet you won't soon forget about me! I'm going to haunt you forever and enjoy every second of it! Ahahahahahahaha-ack!" He collapsed to the floor again, his wiry legs no longer able to support him. "Well, that's embarrassing…"

Judy couldn't help but cringe at the sight. "I thought you said you didn't care about that."

"My programming says...that I shouldn't," he confirmed, only barely holding himself together now. "But I think...we're beyond...pretending…" With a final, fading laugh, what remained of Reynard Junior disappeared into the ether. Despite all he had done, Judy gave him a moment of silence anyway.

Nick was less sympathetic. "Little disturbing watching myself die, gotta be honest. Hey, Fitwik, can you signal the real you that everything's okay now?"

A bit distracted, Fitwik flipped the cage back into its bottom with some effort. "Er...I think?"

"Actually, hold that thought." Nick hopped out of his seat and nonchalantly circled around to the back, flipping open a certain metal cover. "I've been waiting so long for someone to just flip this stupid thing already, I might as well do it myself. Seems appropriate, right?" He gripped the lever lightly. "Game over, everyone."

Before anyone could even react, he pulled it down.

* * *

For all the pain and heartache it took to wake themselves up, it happened insultingly fast. One moment, Judy was still in the shattered ruin of the RJ simulation, the next she was back in the normal, non-destroyed arcade, shoving the helmet off of her with more force than usual. "Good riddance."

"Judy?!" She heard rapidly running paws and then Fitwik pulled open the curtain, sighing in immense relief. "Thank goodness you're okay! I was...at least mildly worried. How's Nick?"

The fox groaned next to her as he came to. He rubbed at his forehead, pushing the helmet away just as forcefully. "Ow...this feels like the worst hangover ever. Why didn't anyone tell me delving into my own head would hurt so much?"

"Not as much as this." Judy punched him in the stomach. "I knew this was a bad idea you dumb, dumb fox! I can't believe you put us through all that just to find out you didn't even need it!"

"But he  _did_ need it, Judy," said Fitwik, approaching her with a calm smile. "Without that experience, he might never have come to that epiphany about himself."

She glared at the panther fiercely enough to make him flinch. "And don't even get me started with  _you!_ Inside PIXAR and out, you are the! Biggest! Ditz!"

"Now now, don't be too hard on him, Hopps." To her surprise, Chief Bogo came in through the curtain next. "I already raked him over the coals plenty while you were in there."

She backed down, satisfied that nothing she said could possibly be worse than spending all that time alone with the chief.

"I'm so sorry for all of this, Judy," Nick said, still sore in more than one place now. "All those things I did to you in there, even...hurting you…"

Without warning, Judy was wrapped around him in a tight hug, not particularly helping the bruises. He put a comforting paw on her shoulder, prepared to shoulder her tears, but she only patted him back lightly. "I've been through worse," she said softly. "I'll just have to make it up to you the next time we spar together."

"How's tomorrow sound?" Bogo offered.

"Perfect." She looked up at Nick with a sweet, innocent smile that promised much pain and suffering.

"Yeah, I probably deserve that," he admitted. "Honestly, I'm surprised you're taking it  _this_ well." Collateral damage to his rib cage aside.

She sighed. "It was pretty rough at first, having to face him like that. But in the end, I know it wasn't you in there. If you were truly capable of that level of depravity, RJ would be the one sitting next to me right now." She flicked him playfully on the nose. "If anything, it only proves how good of a mammal  _my_ Nick is. I don't need anyone else to tell me that, not even you."

He forced a very uncomfortable laugh. "Still...the next time, we'll just be pirates or something, alright? Your pick."

"Next time…" Her ears drooped. "Nick, do you think RJ had a point?  _Are_ we just using these alternate versions of ourselves as toys to amuse ourselves?"

He frowned. "I'm not sure what to say to that. I mean, I can't exactly tell you not to trust him, since he's technically based on me, which would mean you can't trust my word not to trust him, or my word not to trust my word not to trust him. It's all a big, paradoxical mess." She stared at him expectantly. "But his point does have some merit. Maybe."

"I'm also not sure what to say to that," Fitwik added. "Mainly because I have a business to run."

"You're not even charging them," Bogo pointed out.

"Because they're such valuable customers that I don't need to," he said, grinning widely at both of them.

"Need to work on your sales face there." Nick got out of the chair, helping Judy out as well. "As for me, I think I need to be  _especially_ loving towards my dear wife tonight. If that's okay with you, chief."

Bogo snorted. "Like you're leaving me much of a choice. Fine, but I expect both of your butts back in the precinct tomorrow. And call your parents already, Hopps!"

Judy just nodded and followed after Nick, who placed a caring arm onto her shoulder. "Don't worry, I'll call off the bunny mob for you," he assured her. She had no doubt that he'd be making this up to her for a long while, whether she wanted him to or not, but she was content for now just to get home and pass out in their bed.

As they left PIXAR and the arcade behind them, Judy stopped only briefly to look up at the building. This was the same walk they'd made dozens of times before, experiencing dozens of different scenarios, but this felt like the first time she was truly looking back on it.

And for once, she wasn't at all eager to return.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So ends RJ, and any chance at all of me being able to follow simple word count guidelines. This was a marathon of a chapter for sure, but after seeing how much fun I had with this idea, I hope you can forgive me.
> 
> I can't say I was always intending to delve into the "ethics" of PIXAR, as it were. It just sort of occurred to me while I was writing this that someone who's self-aware of their existence as a digital construct made to literally be a What If to someone else MIGHT take some offense to that idea, especially when that someone is based on Nick Wilde. I admit, it threw me off kilter as much as it did Judy at first, but it gave me some good material to finish this off with.
> 
> So what is RJ exactly? I mentally debated for a while whether to portray him as a rogue AI program pissed by the fact that he's just a copy of the real Nick Wilde, or the real Nick's dark side literally given sentience. In the end, his characterization pulled from both, and his sometimes contradictory statements in that regard just added to the general ambiguity of his character. What is he? Even RJ himself isn't entirely sure.
> 
> Anyway, you may have noticed the rather...final...vibe of this ending. Well, after talking over this whole idea with Cimar for a while, it was decided to make RJ the penultimate story of the entire What If Collaboration Project as it leads very nicely into the actual ending that Cimar's got cooking. So look forward to that, because I certainly am.
> 
> In the meantime, thank you all for reading through this longer-than-usual story. With the massive amount of in-jokes I've dropped, I might as well point you one last time to my megafic "Born to Be Wilde" as well as "Nick Wilde: Ace Attorney" from this very collab if you want to see more of my special brand of quirkiness. For now, I shall bid you adieu. :)


End file.
